My children, Ubaid (6 years old) and Uwais (3 years old) have reached the level where they would argue with each other about almost anything. They are now driving one another crazy and it often makes me and my wife crazy. 

Therefore, when people ask do I want another child, I would just say NO at the moment. These two are enough for now. No need to add more stress. 

Don't get me wrong. I love my children and of course, there are sweet moments between them two. But whenever they fight, gosh, they can be so loud that it gives me headaches. 

Then, when I say NO to having more kids, many would jokingly tell me that I should try having a girl. I now have two boys, so I should strive to get a girl now. 

Truthfully, I do want a baby girl. I do want to dress a baby up with cute dresses and girly things. I know my wife would also welcome some girl company in the house. Furthermore, our friend Yaya just delivered a baby girl a few weeks back and now having a pair of boy and girl. My colleague and dear university friend is also trying for a boy as she already has two girls.

However, the way people tell me that I should "get a girl" is kinda messed up when I think about it. They are indicating that I should get a girl so I would know the feel of having one. It's like I now I have two cars and thus I should get a motorcycle so that I would know how would it be to own one. 

Come on, man. Kids are not collectible items that I should strive to have all the pieces. Children are huge responsibilities and burden. 

Don't simply suggest someone to have one for the feel of it. Having a kid requires a lot of preparation in every aspect. Financial, mental, physical, you name it. Raising a child requires so much strength and sacrifices. 

So yeah sir, I do want a baby girl but I won't try to have just for the sake of having one. If I ever want another child, I would pray for a girl but even if it's a boy, I wouldn't mind. Regardless the gender, a child is a blessing. If I ever want another one, I would first consider many aspects. Am I ready for another financial burden? Am I able to handle another kid emotionally, mentally and physically? No sir, not right now. Not yet. 

Yeah, maybe in the future. We'll see.

The sun is rising and my heart grows heavier by the minute. Soon, the grey and darkness will turn to colors and the living rise from their slumber. 

I wish the sun would just halt. Please Mr Sun, wait a bit longer. I yearn for more silence. 

Early mornings are my favorite time of the day. When I say, I meant very very early. Everyday, I set 3 alarms. 4.15 am, 5.00 am and 5.40 am. 

I don't always rise up at 4.15 am. Usually, when the first alarm cries, I would dismiss it. The first one is just to prepare me for the real awakening. 

Then, when the next one rings, I would wake up and then do whatever I want to do without any worries. 

I guess that's why these early mornings are my favorite. My wife and kids would be sleeping. My colleagues, bosses and students would still be sleeping. No one would disturb me. 

I would use that time to watch Youtube videos, write blog posts like this, answer surveys on GameTame or simply just browse bitskins. 

Well, I guess it's not weird for a man like me to do this. I wake up early to find some solace, while other men prefer to just hide in toilets like this article states. I know many males who go fishing to just have some time alone. Men do like their peace and quiet. 

When the last alarm booms, I would prepare myself to go to the mosque for Subuh prayer. Outside of the house, the stillness of mornings feels magical to me. It's so peaceful and I wish it would go on forever. 

Oh well, looks like Mr Sun is not stopping. I have to head home now and wake the wife and kids. Looking forward for the first alarm to sound next morning. :-)

SYNOPSIS: 

Kurosaki Ichigo (Sôta Fukushi) is a high school student who has the ability to see ghosts. One night, a Shinigami (Soul Reaper) named Kuchiki Rukia (Hana Sugisaki) suddenly appeared in his bedroom and his house and family was attacked by an unknown creature known as a Hollow. Situation required Ichigo to take Rukia's powers and become a Shinigami. 

Bleach is easily one of my favorite manga. Even after it suffers a downfall after the Aizen arc ended, I loyally continued reading it until the very last chapter. I have to admit, I had concerns when I learned that there's gonna be a live action movie of Bleach. Many manga/anime adaptations fail to capture the real essence of the manga and therefore I was worried that the movie would ruin the manga for me. 

To my surprise, this movie is quite well made. 

My first concern was pacing. Fitting in many chapters of a manga into one movie is tough and might result in an overly fast pace. However, the director clearly knew what he was doing. The pacing is just right. It is not rushed but at the same time, it manages to cover a whole arc. 

The fact that the story line is a bit different from the manga helps. Yes, there are key scenes that copies the manga which is awesome but it is refreshing to see some variety and differences. 

It feels good to see how the characters have room to showcase their growth and affections towards each other. The nice pacing gives audience room to really feel and love the characters.

Speaking of characters, I think that all of the actors and actresses did a great job in portraying their roles. I love Sota Fukushi's portrayal of Ichigo. Hana Sugisaki needs to be more silly when it comes to being Rukia but overall, she nails the emotional and temperamental parts of her. 

The side characters are also lovable especially Chad (Yû Koyanagi) and Orihime (Erina Mano). Seeing these two makes me smile. They are cute and the bond between them and Ichigo can clearly be seen.

Uryu Ishida (Ryô Yoshizawa) could have been a better character if given more action and screen time. The casting for Renji is perfect. Taichi Saotome nails the looks and character of the gangster Shinigami. Lastly, Miyavi as well did a good job as Byakuya. 

Apart from that, the action parts are very engaging. I love the part where Rukia trains Ichigo because the movements seems fluid and believable. They seem to possess fighting skills probably due to real life training. 

The sword fights seem visually cool. Come on, Japanese katana fights have always looked cool. Attatatatatata hiyaaa! Slash! and the loser falls. Not gonna lie, most of the fight scenes gave me goose bumps. 

The fight with hollows are also engaging but they're not the main focus. This movie is more towards Ichigo's fight against the Shinigami monarchy. 

I definitely want a sequel because so far, I am entertained by Shinsuke Sato's work. My concerns for the sequel is the overabundance of CGI since it would take place of Soul Society. I am hoping that Shinsuke Sato would make it simple yet engaging by focusing more on character development rather than the visual effects like in this movie. 

4 out of 5 stars.

Today, as soon as I reached the office, I noticed that I was not wearing a belt. Luckily my pants were tight enough that they didn't fall down. 

I also didn't brush my teeth because I just got back from my in laws last night and didn't have time to unpack my toothbrush. 

My hair is now a mess and my face needs shaving. 

I am a freakin' mess. 

However, I managed to get my kid ready for school and I reached work on time so that is what really matters. 

Right? 

I don't know. 

As the title says, I feel like I am stuck in the middle. The middle of what, you might ask. Well, the middle of everything. 

I don't really care about how I look but at the same time I kinda don't want to look like a homeless person. 

I want and try to do good stuff but yeah, I am also a little bit naughty and a truant. 

I want to finish up some personal projects but I am so distracted by other things. 

I have to be a dad and a husband and be a 31 year old adult however there's a child in me that is trying to come out at every opportunity. 

I want to be a good Muslim and keep telling myself to be better and better but nope. The devil within is strong. 

I want to be a good son but at the same time, there's this rebel inside saying, "Hey, you've done enough." 

Do you see what I mean? I just can't go across. I am stuck on a bridge of self doubt and procrastination. 

I want to move away but yeah I am feeling comfortable enough to stay. 

I want to be selfish but it's not me. I try to think for myself but at the same time, I just can't let go of my responsibilities. 

What is this? What the hell. 

I think if I stay on this bridge any longer, it would collapse under the weight of my endless piles of unfinished projects. 

I need to cross because I can't go back. 

I wish I can go back. I wish I knew better. but if I go back, the things I gained during my journey would be left behind and I would end up with nothing. 

Besides moving across and going back, there is another option. I could jump off the bridge into the abyss of the unknown. But just realizing about the third option make me think about my own mental health. 

Am I suicidal? I hope not. 

I mean, the thought of suicide looks kinda tempting. I am tired. A bit of rest would be good. If I could just shut my eyes... 

No. Please no. I don't want to. 

I have to cross this damn bridge. 

Look at the bottom right side of the picture. 12 kills in a row with the new MP5-SD! Man, this gun is dope. 

I have to admit, when I first tried it, I didn't like it and preferred the MP7. But then I made a video showcasing the MP5-SD | Dirt Dropped (Battle Scarred) where I played Deathmatch using only the MP5-SD and damn, I slayed. 

After that, I started using the gun more and more and now I just don't want to go back to MP7. 

By the way, yeah, as mentioned, I made a video. 

I love CSGO skins and I often go on Youtube to check them out. So, recently, I was like, hey why don't I try making videos myself? 

The video is made using a borrowed PC (Yeah, I still can't afford one) and free softwares. For capturing the gameplay, I used OBS and to edit the vid, I used Windows Movie Maker. I think it's not bad and I'm quite happy with the result. 

Please like the video :-) 

Anyway, going back to the topic of MP5-SD, I chose to get the battle scarred Dirt Drop. It was the second most battle scarred I could find on the Steam Community Market. The most battle scarred one was rather expensive. 

I think it's dope that the scratches reveal some silver parts of the gun. Honestly, I don't like the Dirt Drop skin when it's factory new or minimal wear. Battle scarred looks way better in my opinion. 

Valve has recently made huge changes to the game and I am loving them. Keep it up Gaben!