My children, Ubaid (6 years old) and Uwais (3 years old) have reached the level where they would argue with each other about almost anything. They are now driving one another crazy and it often makes me and my wife crazy. 

Therefore, when people ask do I want another child, I would just say NO at the moment. These two are enough for now. No need to add more stress. 

Don't get me wrong. I love my children and of course, there are sweet moments between them two. But whenever they fight, gosh, they can be so loud that it gives me headaches. 

Then, when I say NO to having more kids, many would jokingly tell me that I should try having a girl. I now have two boys, so I should strive to get a girl now. 

Truthfully, I do want a baby girl. I do want to dress a baby up with cute dresses and girly things. I know my wife would also welcome some girl company in the house. Furthermore, our friend Yaya just delivered a baby girl a few weeks back and now having a pair of boy and girl. My colleague and dear university friend is also trying for a boy as she already has two girls.

However, the way people tell me that I should "get a girl" is kinda messed up when I think about it. They are indicating that I should get a girl so I would know the feel of having one. It's like I now I have two cars and thus I should get a motorcycle so that I would know how would it be to own one. 

Come on, man. Kids are not collectible items that I should strive to have all the pieces. Children are huge responsibilities and burden. 

Don't simply suggest someone to have one for the feel of it. Having a kid requires a lot of preparation in every aspect. Financial, mental, physical, you name it. Raising a child requires so much strength and sacrifices. 

So yeah sir, I do want a baby girl but I won't try to have just for the sake of having one. If I ever want another child, I would pray for a girl but even if it's a boy, I wouldn't mind. Regardless the gender, a child is a blessing. If I ever want another one, I would first consider many aspects. Am I ready for another financial burden? Am I able to handle another kid emotionally, mentally and physically? No sir, not right now. Not yet. 

Yeah, maybe in the future. We'll see.

The sun is rising and my heart grows heavier by the minute. Soon, the grey and darkness will turn to colors and the living rise from their slumber. 

I wish the sun would just halt. Please Mr Sun, wait a bit longer. I yearn for more silence. 

Early mornings are my favorite time of the day. When I say, I meant very very early. Everyday, I set 3 alarms. 4.15 am, 5.00 am and 5.40 am. 

I don't always rise up at 4.15 am. Usually, when the first alarm cries, I would dismiss it. The first one is just to prepare me for the real awakening. 

Then, when the next one rings, I would wake up and then do whatever I want to do without any worries. 

I guess that's why these early mornings are my favorite. My wife and kids would be sleeping. My colleagues, bosses and students would still be sleeping. No one would disturb me. 

I would use that time to watch Youtube videos, write blog posts like this, answer surveys on GameTame or simply just browse bitskins. 

Well, I guess it's not weird for a man like me to do this. I wake up early to find some solace, while other men prefer to just hide in toilets like this article states. I know many males who go fishing to just have some time alone. Men do like their peace and quiet. 

When the last alarm booms, I would prepare myself to go to the mosque for Subuh prayer. Outside of the house, the stillness of mornings feels magical to me. It's so peaceful and I wish it would go on forever. 

Oh well, looks like Mr Sun is not stopping. I have to head home now and wake the wife and kids. Looking forward for the first alarm to sound next morning. :-)

Today, as soon as I reached the office, I noticed that I was not wearing a belt. Luckily my pants were tight enough that they didn't fall down. 

I also didn't brush my teeth because I just got back from my in laws last night and didn't have time to unpack my toothbrush. 

My hair is now a mess and my face needs shaving. 

I am a freakin' mess. 

However, I managed to get my kid ready for school and I reached work on time so that is what really matters. 

Right? 

I don't know. 

As the title says, I feel like I am stuck in the middle. The middle of what, you might ask. Well, the middle of everything. 

I don't really care about how I look but at the same time I kinda don't want to look like a homeless person. 

I want and try to do good stuff but yeah, I am also a little bit naughty and a truant. 

I want to finish up some personal projects but I am so distracted by other things. 

I have to be a dad and a husband and be a 31 year old adult however there's a child in me that is trying to come out at every opportunity. 

I want to be a good Muslim and keep telling myself to be better and better but nope. The devil within is strong. 

I want to be a good son but at the same time, there's this rebel inside saying, "Hey, you've done enough." 

Do you see what I mean? I just can't go across. I am stuck on a bridge of self doubt and procrastination. 

I want to move away but yeah I am feeling comfortable enough to stay. 

I want to be selfish but it's not me. I try to think for myself but at the same time, I just can't let go of my responsibilities. 

What is this? What the hell. 

I think if I stay on this bridge any longer, it would collapse under the weight of my endless piles of unfinished projects. 

I need to cross because I can't go back. 

I wish I can go back. I wish I knew better. but if I go back, the things I gained during my journey would be left behind and I would end up with nothing. 

Besides moving across and going back, there is another option. I could jump off the bridge into the abyss of the unknown. But just realizing about the third option make me think about my own mental health. 

Am I suicidal? I hope not. 

I mean, the thought of suicide looks kinda tempting. I am tired. A bit of rest would be good. If I could just shut my eyes... 

No. Please no. I don't want to. 

I have to cross this damn bridge. 

Hi peeps.

Just got to get stuff out of my chest.

Lately, I have been feeling not as fine as usual. Usually, I would be able to say to myself that I like the way I am and I am comfortable in my own skin. Welp, lately, I am having trouble believing those words.

I might be feeling a bit depressed. Work and the sacrifices of being a husband and father are putting a toll on me. I found myself delaying my work a lot and it is unhealthy. It is like I am sabotaging myself.

I am also always tired. Sometimes I feel tired for no reason. That's the main reason why I feel that I am depressed. It's like there is a huge burden on my shoulders and I am carrying it around everywhere I go, all the time. Plus, I don't really have friends.

I have been doing some reading about depression and I found that it is linked to many suicide cases.

I think people who are close to me know that I am depressed as I am not really trying to hide it. Sometimes it is obvious to see. People keep commenting, "Hey, you look so tired." and "Hey, something's bothering you?"

So, this post serves two purpose which are to clarify, yes, I am quite unhappy with myself and secondly, No, I will not kill myself.

The first one I have elaborated briefly in the first few paragraphs. Now, come to second part.

I want all of you to know that I am not a fan of suicide. Never ever crossed my mind that I want to kill myself, no matter how hard it is.

If given a choice, I would want to live forever. I have always fantasize that if I could choose a superpower, I would choose to have Wolverine's powers. No, not the metal claws and adamantium skeletons thing. Those things are forcefully put into him. I would have preferred to have his extreme healing powers.

Why would I want to live longer? Well, I am curious of what the world become in the future. I would love to see flying cars and awesome robots. I would love to see how far humans would venture out in space.

Okay, maybe I won't be able to see all of that since I don't have that kind of power. But there are also other things to look forward to. For instance, superhero movies. It is very obvious that I love superheroes and I also much enjoy watching movies. So, superhero movies always thrill me. They thrill me enough to not kill myself.

I hope I can see Black Panther soon.

Hehe, yeah I know. My reason is so not cliche. Other people would say that they won't kill themselves because of their family. They don't want their family and loved ones to suffer.

Of course I don't want them to feel sad. I love them.

But it is more important that I do things because it comes from within me. Intrinsic motivation is better than extrinsic ones, in my opinion.

So, yeah, no matter how hard the struggle is, I won't end my life because there is always something to look forward to. I think that is why no matter how hard, I keep waking up every morning and do things that is need to be done.

I would want so bad to curl up in a hole and just stay there but I want to see stuff. Being inside in a cave of sadness won't feed my curiosity and interests.

If you are feeling depressed and having trouble getting out of your bed, please go deep inside yourselves to find something to look forward for. No matter how silly or small, hey, at least it is something.

After finally being able to take out both my 5 year old and 2 year old of the car, we made our way from the parking lot into the McDonald's at Ipoh only to be greeted by a huge crowd inside. Seeing the lack of vacant tables and long lines at the counter, I contemplated my decision to eat there. But, fast food is the easiest meal that I could get given that I was handling two small kids and I was already there, therefore I braved myself to queue. Ubaid the 5 year old was beside me holding my left hand and my right hand was holding the 2 year old Uwais. 

After a few minutes, the boys started to get restless as they really wanted to go and play in the McDonald's play pen. But I wasn't willing to let them play without any supervision as it's very easy to lose a child in such a crowded place. 

Then, the most memorable thing happened. A McDonald's staff approached me and told me that I could cut the queue and order from her. She was Indian and seemed quite aged yet motherly. Her smile was warm and friendly. "Adik, mari sini. Kasihan bawa anak-anak kiri kanan. Adik mahu order apa?" 

While I was ordering two Happy Meals and a set of McChicken, Ubaid and Uwais started acting out. Seeing what was happening, the lady told a younger staff to give my kids small coned ice creams. The boys accepted those treats with wide smiles and behaved again. 

After I paid, she said to me, "Adik pergi duduk dulu. Nanti kami hantar makanan." 

I was lucky enough to get a table near the play pen and as soon as I sat down, the lady came with our food. "Enjoy the meal", she said. 

That act of kindness is very memorable to me because no other McDonald's staff had ever done that to me. This situation happened a few months ago but that Indian lady is still in my mind everytime I see the McDonald's logo. 

Sadly, as I said, she is the only one that is kind. Most of my visits to other McDonald's have been disappointing. 

For example, there was once when I went to McDonald's at Port Dickson. The situation was similar as my wife was not around so I literally had my hands full with my two kids. The queues were long and the place was rather crowded. I had to wait for almost 15 minutes because in front of me there was a Chinese woman who didn't speak Malay nor English. I guessed she's a tourist from China. The McDonald's staff at the counter didn't quite acknowledge my difficulty handling two active, restless kids. She kept sulking because she had to cancel so many orders since the Chinese woman had difficulties communicating what exactly that she wanted. 

When it's finally my turn, the McDonald's staff was still in a bad mood. I asked her with a smile, "Mainan Happy Meal ada yang mana ya?". With lips pouting like an ugly duck and a glare so moody, she replied harsly, "Mainan dah habis." 

Not just she was not understanding of my situation, she was also rather rude. It ruined my evening. 

Another example. Yesterday, my wife and I went to Aeon Cheras Selatan to get ice cream at McDonald's there as we were craving for something sweet. No, our kids were left in the care of my sister in law. 

The McDonald's staff members were so grumpy and unfriendly. We ordered the Party McFlurry which was a medium sized tub of happiness and therefore we expected to get McFlurry ice cream spoons. When my wife saw that the staff didn't place any spoons on our food tray, she asked whether we would be given a spoon. The staff didn't even look at our faces when she told us to get the small spoons at the condiment area. My wife demanded that we get a McFlurry spoon but she told us that the McFlurry spoon is meant for a crowd of people eating that one ice cream. Nonsense, right? My wife argued about that with her and then she gave up and gave us a McFlurry spoon anyway. 

That staff's attitude rather ruined our mood and moment. 

Why oh why you gotta do that to your customers? McDonald's is supposed to be a place of happiness for all. 

Yes, I understand that you work long hours. My buddy Ridhwan who worked as a Starbucks barista mentioned once that I shouldn't work in F&B outlets because it's hectic. But that is no excuse to treat a customer badly. 

Haih. I wish there are more people like that old lady at that Ipoh McDonald's. She really gave a strong impression of how a kind and understanding person should act.

Hari Isnin yang lepas, seorang kenalan (fellow KBM TESLian & an English lecturer at Politeknik Merlimau) telah meninggal dunia.

Saya tidak begitu mengenali beliau. Kenal kenal macam tu je, tak pernah berkawan. Tapi sepanjang hari, timeline di Facebook saya dipenuhi dengan puji-pujian kepada arwah Hamdi.

Ramai menyatakan yang arwah seorang yang baik, sangat suka menolong orang lain, banyak memberikan semangat di kala orang lain berduka dan seorang yang periang dan gembira.

Your baby will fall, knock his head on something, have bruises, cuts & etc

The last thing I wanna do is physically hurt our baby. But these stuff just happen no matter how careful I've been. Ubaid had fallen from the bed a few times, accidentally bumped his head against the wall, cut his lips, and etc. 

I always feel bad & guilty whenever he's hurt. The scary thing is how he doesn't understand that he can get hurt. 

Other people think they can name your kid better.

"Hey, Fahmi. What's your boy's name?"

Muhammad Ubaid. 

"Ubaid? Why not Ubaidillah? or Zack? or Afro? or Muhammad Danish Polish Swedish?"

My wife and I named him Muhammad Ubaid because my mother in law likes the name Ubaid so much. Yes, we are aware that the meaning of Ubaid is slave (hamba)... but Ubaid is also a name of sahabat Nabi Muhammad. We did our research already, man. So quit modifying our kid's name, bro. Ubaid is a sweet name. 

No offense to people with names Ubaidillah, Zack, Afro & Muhammad Danish Polish Swedish.


Everybody will have an opinion on how to properly raise your child.

Le wife and I had been enduring so many unwanted advice on parenting since day one of pregnancy. Well, some advice we gladly take and some we ignore. We in fact welcome any advice. Just don't freakin' force it on us. Yes, it worked on your child but we're not the same! Ubaid is not yours!

The thing that bothered us the most was how so many people insisted that Ubaid should sleep in a buai. You know, the one that you hang on a spring and you henjut-henjut until baby is asleep. We refused to use buai because we travel a lot (and plan to travel a lot). If we train Ubaid to sleep in a buai, that means having to bring the buai everywhere we go. If not, he'll have trouble sleeping. In a hotel, where to gantung buai?? So we train him to sleep on a bouncer instead.


The "I have a baby" excuse.

"I have a baby, can we meet at a place closer to my house?"

"I can't lend you money because I have a baby."

My friends must be quite annoyed whenever I use that excuse. Seriously though, it's a legit excuse. My baby loves car rides but when a trip takes too long, he'll become bored and cranky. Just imagine being stuck in a traffic jam with your child crying. Besides that, as we all know, having a kid is costly. Do I have to elaborate on that? Okey, here's the list - Pampers, milk, new outfits almost every month since he's growing so fast okey I'm just kidding maybe every three to four months, carseat, baby shampoo, skin care product for rashes, toys and the list go on.

Thank God for understanding friends.


You get to annoy your friends on social media with your cute family pictures.










Not everyone will be annoyed though. Some will go "Awwwww". The key is, no humble bragging captions.


Getting a baby to sleep can be extremely hard.

Ubaid is now so active. He's like on playing mode 24/7. Getting him to sleep or just take a short nap or just rest for a while can be quite tricky and exhausting.

Many times I have to dodoi him for almost an hour or so.

When dealing with this kind of situation, it's very important for me to keep my cool. Slow talk often work.


Spending time with your baby can be really rewarding.

Despite all the hardship of parenting, it's really worth it. To see Ubaid running around, exploring stuff, doing what babies do, is so fun. That smile. That look on his face when he discover something like how the sand feels or what a flashlight can do.

It's really something.


People will feed your baby stuff you don't want him to eat.

My parents, for example. They sometimes feed Ubaid, Apollo cakes, ice cream, jellies & other junk food that they think are not junk food.

We don't want Ubaid to eat those stuff because they're quite unhealthy and when he eats any of them, he'll be full and refuse to eat rice and drink milk.


The playground can be quite scary.

When I have the chance, I will take Ubaid to the playground.

Ubaid is rather small since he's just 1. Most of the kids at the playground are usually bigger and older than him; 3 to 10 years old. Bigger kids tend to be quite violent, by kids' standards. They like to run and push each other, wrestle and etc. Not to mention, I met a few kids who like to bully those who are smaller than them.

Many times I feel like smacking a kid because he pushed and bullied Ubaid. There's one time when a kid acted all mighty like he owned the playground and refused to let Ubaid play. Eiiiii aku sepak jugak kang budak ni.

Yes, there are playgrounds meant for kids Ubaid's age but the problem is, budak-budak ni conquer semua kawasan playground.

As you read this, just bear in mind that everything I write is based on my own opinion. This is a personal blog, so every post is personal. Personal views, personal opinions which are based on what I've read & seen. 

Okey now.

One of the hot issues in Malaysia right now is the issue of boycotting companies that have been financially supporting Israel in their military terror against Gaza civilians. Among the companies that are supposed to be boycotted are McDonald's, Starbucks, Tesco & Loreal. 

Throughout this week, I've seen pictures of people giving speeches in front of McDonald's, people wearing ski masks displaying SAVE GAZA! BOIKOT ISRAEL!! banners just outside McDonald's & people posting pictures of other people eating McDonald's online. I also read tweets mentioning a Starbuck's employee was beaten for refusing to quit his job, McDonald's staff members were harassed & spit on. 

PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE!!!!! 

What the hell?? 

Public shaming?? Harassment?? Are those the Islamic way? 

Yes, I praise you for your effort & commitment on trying to boycott those Israel supporting companies. But there's no need for you to harass their staff. 

We can just all peacefully boycott by not buying the products. That's all. 

You want to rally, go do it at appropriate, permitted places. 

Islam teaches us to be gentle. To be peaceful. 

Bukan senang nak cari kerja. Staf McDonald's tu ada yang dah kerja bertahun-tahun, dari jadi kuli hingga la naik pangkat jadi manager. Put yourselves in their shoes la. Takkan la senang-senang dia nak tukar kerja semata-mata sebab kau suruh. Kalau kau tolong tawarkan dia peluang kerja yang lagi bagus, okey la. Tapi kau pukul diorang, ludah muka diorang, maki-maki diorang. 

Be Islamic, bro. Jangan la paksa-paksa. 

Boikot secara aman & buat apa yang kita mampu. Jangan beli produk zionis melainkan kita memang betul-betul perlukannya. Banyakkan doa & solat hajat. Bagi derma. 

Kita bukan askar, Malaysia bukan kuasa besar dari segi ketenteraan, jadi itu saja yang kita mampu buat. Kuasa besar Islam yang lain senyap je... Itu menyedihkan. Umat Islam tak bersatu disebabkan lain fahaman. Akibatnya, zionis bermaharajalela. Nak harapkan US? PBB? Kuasa besar yang lain?? Diorang buat pekak... buat bodo je. Not their problem. Tak menguntungkan mereka pun kalau tolong Gaza. Takde minyak. 

Betulkan saya kalau saya silap cakap ye. Peace.

The toilet, for me, is a peaceful place. 

Yeah yeah yeah, I know. The toilet is a shitty place... literally & figuratively. But it's also a place of solitude for introvert me. I'm not sure whether other fellow introverts feel the same but I think we all have that one quiet lonely place to hide. 

Sometimes when socializing is too much of a burden for me, I hide in a toilet cubicle. 

I started hiding in toilets when I started my teaching practicum a few years ago. I just couldn't stand being in the teacher's room because all of the senior teachers looked at me condescendingly... or maybe it was just me. There was no other place for me to be in order to escape those people, therefore I hid myself in a toilet. Since then, I keep hiding and hiding in toilets. Sometimes I hide for more than an hour. 

When hiding, I will sleep if I can, play games on my phone, read eBooks. I think I finished a quarter of A Storm of Swords in a toilet.

It's pathetic, I know. I'm not proud of it but it's a place where nobody will interact and bug me. 

Definitely, I don't just choose any toilet. I hide only in clean ones. I can't stand foul smells. 

The social anxiety that I have in me is pretty hard to explain. Meeting a person whom I'm not close with gives me an adrenaline rush. Having small talks with strangers is so stressful. Having to respond to remarks and sentences tenses me up.

Of course, the toilet is not the only place I hide. The toilet is like the last place I would go to avoid people. I also feel comfortable being in my car. My places of solitude are the places that I know people won't breach into. 

Being an introvert sucks. 

When it's lunch time at work, instead of contemplating on what to eat, I think hard on where to eat. I always choose restaurants with the most strangers. I often eat alone. Going to a restaurant where there are many people I barely know would 'force' me to join their table because I don't want to be considered as rude or 'kera sumbang'. Joining their table would mean I have to join in with their conversation and that could be stressful for me. 

Sometimes, when I got to a restaurant, I turn back because I see people I know inside. I turn back and go to other restaurants or just go back to the office and starve myself. Yeah, I prefer being starved than socializing with people.

Bare in mind that I only don't like to interact with people I barely know. If it's a person I like or I'm used to, then there'll be no problem. But the problem is, in order to get close to a person, you have to befriend him/her when he/she is still a stranger. You can't automatically be close to someone. Have to interact and spend some time together. 

Shamefully, I have to admit that even after almost three years working at my current workplace now, I still don't have a person who I can call a friend. I only have colleagues here. 

Most of my colleagues are nice to me but when it's lunch time, I don't have anyone that I can say, "Hey, jom makan."

It's easier for me to make friends when I was in school and university because I would be interacting with peers of the same interests and level of maturity. My friends then were scarce but I still had friends. However, now, at this workplace, I'm still searching for a buddy. 

I blame myself for that. Too many excuses... too little effort. Socializing is fuckin' scary! I also blame the age factor. At my office, I'm the youngest. While I prefer to talk about comic books and movies, other colleagues talk about politics, lucah lucah, sons, daughters, parenting wargh wargh. 

I could go to other departments to look for friends. I know there are young ones at other departments. But just thinking about entering a building full of strangers just to get to one person fill my stomach with various insects. Wargh warghh

Fuhhh... It's so hard to be me. 

Despite my introversion, I used to think of myself as a very polite person. Though I lack words, I often smile at most people. 

That was until my wife gave me a sort of wake up call one day. 

We just finished having lunch at Hotel UiTM's restaurant and was walking through the lobby towards our parked car. Suddenly, a stranger, a guy maybe in his 40s approached me. 

He asked, "Ni lecturer UiTM eh?" 

I slowed down my walking pace but didn't stop. In a brief moment, I smiled, answered, "Tak, lecturer poli..." & walked away. 

Wifey snapped. 

She scolded me quietly, "That was so rude!" 

At first, I thought she was referring to the guy because he didn't even say Hi before asking me the question. 

She then told me that if a person is trying to talk to you, you have to stop whatever you're doing and treat him/her with respect. 

So, yeah, that day I found out that I am a little bit of a douche bag. Not so polite after all. 

People skills. I have to really work on that. Being an introvert is not an excuse to be rude to people, that's what my wife taught me.

It is undeniable that many Malaysians lack people skills, especially those who work with people. Restaurant waiters, human resource staff, direct sellers... etc.

Reader's Digest once published Malaysia as one of the rudest countries in the world. At that time, I silently defended Malaysia, saying that it's not fair to measure manners in the perspective of the west.

However, now I'm no longer denying that most Malaysians are rather rude.

It's not hard to justify the above statement. A few weeks ago, my wife, Ubaid & I went to Mines Shopping Center to buy some stuff. Before we went shopping, we stopped by Kenny Roger's to feed baby Ubaid.

At the entrance, as we were checking the menu, one of the restaurant staff came to us & asked, "Nak makan apa?"

Wifey immediately gave him a brief lecture. Yes yes, my wife takes this matter very seriously. She said to the guy, "Is that how you're supposed to greet your customers? You're supposed to smile & say Hi, Welcome!..."

The guy awkwardly smiled.

Despite that, we went in because I didn't know what else to get for Ubaid. The one who waited our table was a different staff. A female. She didn't smile at all.

Looking at the waitress, I could tell that she's not smiling not because she's having a rough day but rather she's not a smiler at all. Her facial expression was portraying how much she hated dealing with people.

The other staff were also unfriendly. Instead of focusing on the customers, I could see that they're just playing around, not doing a thing. I had to get up & get my own drinking straws. They saw me trying to get the straws but they did nothing.

I decided to ban that restaurant. Heck, I won't even wanna go to other Kenny Roger's branches.

Kenny Roger's is not the first restaurant I ban myself from entering. I also vowed not to set foot into all Pizza Hut restaurants.

I went to Pizza Hut Dungun once with wifey & Ubaid. The service they offered they was the worst ever. The staff were unfriendly, unapproachable, lacking smiles. There was no salad being served even though it was lunch hour. The baby chair that Ubaid sat in was old & broken. Food was served badly. Bad bad bad service.

Anyway, back to the Mines story. After Kenny Roger's, we went shopping at Giant. Since I got my hands busy with Ubaid, wifey was the one who lined up at the cashier.

Wifey said the cashier was very very rude. I can't remember the details but wifey was obviously angry at how she was treated by the cashier.


I can give you more examples of how rude most Malaysians are (that thing at the post office, that moment when insurance agent ruined my lunch, that time when a company HR made my day bad & yada yada), but I think all of you have your own experience with that.


All in all, I just want to conclude that Malaysians (myself is probably included) are pretty rude.

Sometimes we notice when people are staring at us... If that sense could be trained, honed to its maximum potential, we would be able to detect snipers from afar. 

Sometimes we say the things that we never meant to say out loud. We wanted to just think about it but the words just accidentally come out from our mouths... What if the same case could happen with actions? For instance, we intended to punch someone in the throat only in our heads but we end up punching him/her in the throat for real.

What if we're seeing different colors but we call them by the same name? Things that are blue for my eyes could be green in your eyes... but because we can't literally see things from other people's eyes, we never knew that we're seeing different colors.

Can babies understand each other's speech? 

I wonder how humans discovered rice... 

I wonder if there's a mind reader out there... Better not think about ridiculous stuff. Just in case. 

I can move my arms without even thinking about it... My body's amazing. Definitely a wonderland. 

Almost every week, I take a bus to Kajang on Thursday night to be with my wifey & baby Ubaid at Cheras & then head back to Dungun also by bus on Saturday night. This travelling thing has been sort of a routine for me but I'm not here to tell you about that. 

I'm here to tell you about how some people (particularly strangers) can be really really creepy. 

Taking a bus to Dungun yesterday night, I arrived at Paka at around 3.30 am today. As usual, I got off the bus at a bus stop near Simpang Santung. 

Though the bus stop is just beside the main road, it's quite lonely during this kind of hour. The nearest light sources were from a row of shops behind it & some lamp posts about 700 meters away. It was not dark, but quite dim. Bak kata orang, lighting dia agak romantik la...

My house is located around 30 minutes away from that bus stop, so I had to wait for a while for my dad to fetch me. 

As I was waiting, I noticed there was someone watching me through a window of a rumah kedai. I can't determined the gender of the person because his/her hair was short but his/her arms seemed girly.

That's not the creepy part. In fact, at that moment, I welcomed his/her 'company'.

The creepy part was when an old (sort of) neon green Proton Saga passed in front of the bus stop very slowly & I could see the driver staring at me.

Vroom vroom... The engine was very loud.

After a few minutes, the same car passed by again very slowly & the driver was still staring at me...

Vroom vroom... Vroom...

It crept me out. I thought, "Okey, this is how I die. Being stabbed by a stranger riding a very ugly neon green poorly modified Proton Saga".

As expected, after a few minutes, the very same car appeared again but instead of passing by, it slowed down & stopped in front of the bus stop.

Gulp.

I started thinking about things to do to save myself in case I was attacked. I also considered the fact that maybe the driver was picking someone up & was circling around in his car to see if the person has arrived or not.

I wanted to take precautions but at the same time didn't want to overreact & offend the driver... Does it make sense?

The driver got out from his car & turned off the engine.

"That's good, huh? That means he's not gonna stab me & right away make a getaway with all of my belongings", I thought.

As he approached the bus stop, I got up & went to the trash can & pretended to be throwing away stuff... By standing near the trash can, it would be easier for me to run away from him if he decided to attack.

Creepy thing he did was he followed me.

Shit.

He walked towards the trash can & stood very close to me. Very... very close. I could hear him breathing.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Up close, in the dim light, I could see that he's an old dude. His face was very scruffy & wrinkly. He wore a jacket over a blue t-shirt, worn out blue jeans & slippers. His hands were in the pockets of his jacket. Damn, he could be hiding a knife... or a gun.

"Dari mana?", he asked with a rough voice.

"Dari KL."

"Ada orang datang ambil ke?"

"Ya... Kejap lagi sampai la tu..."

CEPAT LA ABAH! CEPAT LA SAMPAI!!

"Rumah kat mana?"

"Kat Kerteh 4".

"... .... ....... Dekat dengan rumah Mat Kori?"

"Ermm... Tak. Jauh sikit."

"Saya pun duduk Kerteh 4... Rumah dekat kubur".

Wow... Kubur... This guy really knows how to make an impression.

Fortunately, Abah finally arrived. With haste, I went inside the car. The guy went to sat at the bus stop.

Abah noticed him & rolled down a window to greet him. Turned out that he's a friend of Abah.

Gosh, I was sweating because he's damn creepy. First with the circling around in his car, then the way he stood so damn close to me. Dude, what a way to scare people. Distance! Distance! Respect the privacy circle, man! 

About some time ago, wifey & I were out dating at Jusco Cheras Selatan... Well, we're not actually dating. We were out buying groceries... Well, during that, as we were descending from first to ground floor of the building via escalator, I saw a mother trying hard to calm her wailing child... The girl cried so loud, glasses were shattering (exaggeration)... 

Anyway, having short attention span, I only cared about it for about half a minute before I shifted my thoughts to something else - what to eat, ya? But my eyes were still locked on the mother & child... Wifey seemed to notice that and said, 

"Don't stare... Don't pressure the mother..." 

So I looked else where... 

I guess it takes a mother to know how other mothers feel... 

Don't pressure the mother. Don't judge too easily... It's tough to take care of a child. It's even tougher to take care of more than one child... 

Children are not adults. They don't understand how to appropriately express their wants, needs & discomfort... We can't expect them to just tell us what's wrong. Heck, even they don't know what's wrong. 

We can't expect them to just understand a situation. "Mama doesn't have the money...", "You can't buy that...", "You can't have this..."

Even if we explain in details why they can't do this, do that, there's no guarantee that they'll understand... Because they're kids... They can't judge things easily.

It's very easy to get frustrated to care for a child... 

Therefore, don't easily judge a person is bad parent he/she can't stop his/her child from crying non stop... 

A parent is a bad parent if he/she hits the child, or just simply do nothing to calm his/her child... 

Kan? 

You heard your mom calling from downstairs... When you're about to go down, your mom appeared & said, "Don't go! I heard it too..." 

I begin tucking him into bed and he tells me, “Daddy check for monsters under my bed...” I look underneath for his amusement and see him, another him, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, “Daddy, there’s somebody on my bed...”

Your reflection in the mirror blinked... 

You're tired. You just got home from work... You reach for the light switch. Another hand is already there.

The last man on earth sat on a couch in his house... Then, he heard a knock on his door.

Don't be scared of monsters... Look for them. Look in your closet, look under your bed, look for them everywhere... But don't look up. She hates being seen. 

There's a picture of me sleeping in my cellphone... I live alone. 

That person keeps staring at me through my window. Smiling. I live on the 14th floor. 

Mom woke me up late at night & told me there's an intruder in the house... Mom died two years ago. 

I love that my cat is always staring at me. Until I noticed she's always staring at the thing behind me. 

I often tell wifey how brilliant it would be if all vehicles are equipped with mics and speakers... So, instead of just honking at each other, drivers could just yell through those mics... 

This idea came when I was in a car & other drivers started to flash their headlights... It made me nervous because I didn't know what they were trying to tell me... "Is there a roadblock ahead? Is there an accident?" 

So, I thought, it'll be easier if they could just tell me what's in front using microphones... "ROADBLOCK KAT DEPAN HOI! KALAU ROADTAX MATI, PATAH BALIK!!" 

Just imagine how convenient it would be... 

When there's a slow driver on the fast lane & you're in a rush, you can just yell through those speakers, "HOI, KURA2!! KE TEPI LA BODOH!!!" instead of giving them the high beam... 

and the slow driver could reply, "JAP! JAP! ADA KANCIL KAT DEPAN AKU NI TAKNAK KE TEPI!" 

Then, if you're just bored, you can have a karaoke session with other drivers... "OKEY, MARI KITA NYANYI LAGU RAYA RAMAI! OOOOHHHHHH BALIK KAMPUNG! OHHHHOOOOHOOOO BALIK KAMPUNG!!!" 

You could also cari pasal with other drivers... Sound sikit annoying drivers... 

"ELLEH, BUKAN MAIN CILOK2 TADI... TAKDE LA JAUH MANA PUN KAU" 

or 

"WIRA PERASAN LANCER!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!" 

The downside would be sound pollution... Many people would share with the rest of the world their taste in music... Cursing while driving wouldn't be done privately... The roads would be so noisy... 

After the success of Upin & Ipin, I've seen so many new local children series making their ways into the hearts of Malaysian kids... Among other popular ones are Bola Kampung & Boboi Boy... 

I sometimes wonder what Ubaid will grow up watching... Most probably one of the locals... 

It was kinda different for me when I was growing up... Yeah, we did have a few local shows like Keluang Man & Yokies, but most were foreign... 

I grew up watching Sesame Street, Barney the Dinosaur, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Doraemon, Tomato Man, Jetman, Flashman, Gaban & other classics... Ahhh... Those were the good ol' days... 

Though having local animation industry developing so much is very good to see, I would like Ubaid to grow up watching foreign shows like Sesame Street & Barney... 

It's not that I feel local shows aren't good enough... In fact, I did watch them sometimes & they're great! They're hilarious... 

It's just that, I managed to grasp English language by indulging myself in English children shows... Sesame Street especially... 

I grew up in a Felda area where no one speaks English... My parents didn't speak English, my brothers didn't... Even most of my English teachers spoke in BM so low level kids could follow... 

So, I gained most exposure on English language by watching English shows... I first noticed that at a very young age when I found it hard to spell most English words but had no problem pronouncing them... 

Being bilingual has a lot of advantages... Some researches even relate bilingualism with having intelligence & cultural awareness... 

Kids have the ability to learn language easily because their brains are still developing... 

Therefore, I'm thinking of introducing him to shows like Ben 10, Justice League, Dora the Explorer & The Avengers... I also think of banning him from watching translated cartoons often shown on TV9... Have you ever watched Spongebob Squarepants in BM? It's ridiculous... The puns just don't work well in BM... 

Back in my days, they only translated Japanese shows like Doraemon & Shin Chan... Today, they translate everything... Pffttt 

Last two weeks, on my way home from work, I stopped by a 7Eleven store at Paka to buy a Ribena drink... I love Ribena... After I bought my Ribena, I went out of the store & headed straight to my car which was parked about 5 meters from the store... 

Suddenly, a stranger wearing grey t-shirt & camo pants came to my side & greeted me like he was a friend... 

"Hey, lama tak nampak??" 

He got really close & patted my back... 

Being mistrustful, I put a distance between us by facing him & stepping back a bit... I put up a smile while I studied his looks... He had a stubble of dark & grey needles for hair... His head was almost bald & greying. I judged that he's in his mid forties... Damn, almost everything about him was grey... 

Within seconds, I decided that I didn't know him & walked away, leaving him just like that, without saying a word... I got into my car, locked the doors & quickly drove away...

Yeah, there was a part of me telling how rude that action was... "What if that person really is your friend? or your parents' friend? What if bla bla bla bla" 

but a big part of me was so mistrustful, that within seconds, I saw how he put a hand in his pocket like we was holding a knife or something while the other was used to pat my back... 

Okey, maybe it was not a knife but I didn't want to wait long enough to find out & risked being stabbed or robbed... 

When I think about it, it was a good mobbing strategy... Come up to a person & act like you know him/her... The person will stall out of confusion & it'll give enough room for you to shock him/her with a knife & rob the poor guy/girl... Confuse, shock & rob!! BWAMM!! 

The reaction could also be triggered by my introversion... How I hate talking to strangers... 

I don't know... 

I happened so fast... 

At least I got my Ribena... 

Leatherface

Whether they're from the remakes or original, masks made of human skins are freaky!!

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)