1. Watching a very good horror movie, alone, at pass midnight...

Totally not a good idea... Don't believe me?? Try watching the Siamese horror movie "Coming Soon" or "4bia" alone in ur room at night... See how long u'll last before dashing out of the room and turning on all the lights in house... the movie "4bia" has four parts... the last part is the scariest...

2. Forgetting to pee or eating food that can possibly cause diarrhea before a very long journey... 

Not a good idea... Just imagine this - u're having diarrhea, u're miles away from ur destination and there is no sign of a toilet near by... U'll feel extremely cold... Cold sweat will tricker down ur forehead... U'll have goosebumps... U'll keep on farting... Then, when u finally found a toilet, the closer u get to the toilet bowl, the more pain u feel... 

What else??

In a week, I traveled by bus from Terengganu to Melaka and then back to Terengganu before going to Kedah and lastly to Melaka again... I kept telling myself that I was like George Clooney in "Up in the Air"... 

Anyway, I left my comfy home in Terengganu to my second home in Melaka to attend an interview... During the bus ride, I couldn't help but curse the distance of both states and the fact that I had to sit in the bus for more than six hours...

Luckily, I had my lovely Walkman phone with me... I spent hours listening to My Chemical Romance's "Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys"... The album is freakin' awesome!! My favorite track is "Bulletproof Heart" and "The Only Hope for Me is You"... Damn, I love MCR... Thanks to Ridhwan!

Anyway, I was really nervous for the interview... Even though I rehearsed on what to say and how to react properly in front of the interviewer, I knew that once I stepped in the room, I would forget everything and go intuitively... I was right... Nervousness took over and I stuttered a bit... I thought I kinda blew it... But it turned out that I got the job!! Woohooo~

A new phase of my life had just begun... 

The next day, I went back to Terengganu because mom insisted that I follow her to Kedah for my cousin's engagement and wedding ceremony... So, I packed light and hopped on a bus again...

On this trip, I tried listening to 30 Seconds to Mars' latest album, "This is War"... I couldn't deny it, Jared Leto is awesome... His voice really blew my mind... I love the track "Vox Populi (Call to Arms)", "This is War" and of course, "Kings and Queens"... 

As soon as I arrived to my stop, I step out of the bus and raised my head up high to look at the stars... I always do that every time I got off a bus after a long journey during the night... The stars look exceptionally beautiful at the time before dawn... 

I got home at 5.30 a.m... I slept until 10.00 a.m... I had breakfast, checked my mail, slept again, packed my bags and left home at 9.00 p.m to my granny's house... Great, another 2 hours trip... My back was hurt because I sat for so long... As I was traveling with my parents, I had to listen to Malay songs... Pftt... It's not that I hate Malay songs, but the "Adam!! Stacy!! Bergabung!! Meletup!!" song really sucks...

We reached granny's house at 11.30 p.m... After a long chat with granny, we called it a night and went to sleep at 2.00 a.m... I woke up at 6.00 a.m and we started our journey to Kedah at 8.00 a.m... My back was still hurt... Awesome...



In Kelantan, we stopped for gas... I wanted to buy "pau ayam" at the shop beside the gas station... Being a Terengganurian, I asked for the "pau ayam" in Terengganu dialect - "Nok pau ayang se..." which meant "Nak pau ayam satu" in proper Malay... or "Can I have one chicken "pau" please?" in English... The salesgirl didn't get me and things got pretty awkward as we stared at each other for about 30 seconds...



Then, in Perak, I saw a guy masturbating at a cemetery... The picture below doesn't do him justice because his face was way more intense... It's like, he was about to... Shisshh... The unusual sighting made my jaw drop and left me speechless... I think he's a crazy guy because he got crazy hair and beard... I dunno... Who I am to judge?

Hmm... Artistic huh?

We arrived safely in Kedah at 6.20 p.m... Awesome... Nothing much happened in Kedah... I helped setting up the tents for the "kenduri" and then me, my parents and a few uncles and aunts went to Alor Setar for tour... We didn't know what's interesting there, so we went here: 

Menara Alor Setar... When I stared at it from below, it looked like it was swaying... it appeared such as the clouds behind it were moving... I was hoping to go up to the top floor but the elevator was under maintenance... Sad... There were rubbish everywhere too... Double sad...

My cousin spoke about Star Parade - a nice and big shopping mall there... We tried looking for it but ended up being in a wrong mall... I think it was Alor Setar Perbandaran Mall or Kedah Supermart or something... It was crappy but a bit better than Hang Tuah Mall in Melaka... Pftt...

After less than a day being in Kedah, I went back to Melaka again to report for duty... I left by bus at 10.00 p.m... For this trip, I wanted to listen to Linkin Park's album, "A Thousand Suns"... but after two tracks, I got bored and daydreamed instead... I thought about lots of things... but mostly I thought about my love relationship... I thought of the good times and the bad times my girl and I had gone through together... ... ... I miss her so much...

Then I fell asleep...

Every time I got off a bus after a long ride from Terengganu to Melaka or the other way around, I would look up to the night sky for a moment to see the moon and millions of stars shining bright... It always reminded me of you... 

because no matter how far we are apart from each other, we would always be looking at the same moon... 

One night, as I was lying on my bed, ready to fall asleep, a thought crossed my mind - "Hey, when I think about it, I never did have a room to myself... Yeah... I've always been sharing bedrooms with my brothers and roommates... Hmm... I guess that's why I'm not comfortable sleeping alone..."

Before my parents renovated the house, it used to be so small... 90 percent of it was wood... it had only one room, so my parents and I slept in the living room, in front of the TV... I used to love sleeping there because I got to watch TV before I went to sleep... 

All of the houses in the neighborhood looked the same because they were built with the same design...

The extension at the back of the house is the kitchen and the bathroom... The bathroom had many holes... One day, a black snake slithered in while I was bathing... Luckily I managed to jump onto the washing machine and avoided getting bitten... I called out my mom but nobody's home at that time... So I just sat on the washing machine until the snake went away which was 40 minutes later... 

But now, my house is a lot bigger... thanks to the grocery shop we own...

Sometimes when I stare at passing cars, I wonder...
What would a caveman think if he saw a moving car? 

He would most probably hunt it like an animal...

Anyway, today, at driving school, I met my former form 5 classmate... I remembered her because she has sleepy eyes and big breasts... When we're in school, she's kinda a bimbo... though, she's really nice... 

After 3 years studying in UiTM Sabah, now she's turned into an intelligent girl... She told me how she struggled for 2 semesters because her English sucked... she had to type all of her assignments in English... It stressed her out, she cried every time she had assignments due... But, as a result of her hard work studying, now she's able to converse in English!! I had a proper English conversation with her for 15 minutes... Then I didnt know what else to say and things got awkward between us... 

Her progress kinda amaze me... It proves that u can improve yourself tremendously if u have determination and worked hard... 

I asked her how did she learn English... She said her roommate helped her... She's a Sabahan and English is like her first language... She forced my friend to speak in English with her EVERYDAY... After a few semesters, my friend finally acquired the language as she got use to it... 

Interesting... 

However, she said she's still struggling with Grammar because spoken English is quite different from written English... 

Awesome...

The first few seconds of The Warrior's Way movie (where Dong-gung Jang threw a knife at his water reflection) was awesome! But the rest of it were crap... totally unbearable... 

This is officially the worst ninja movie ever... I thought that it would beat Ninja Assassin (acted by Rain) with its awesome CGI effects... However, this movie is just another proof that cool effects alone cannot make a movie watchable... Ninja Assassin is indeed a few times better... 

Alief told me that they should just focus on comedy... I agreed... It started as a comedy but it failed to maintain the sense of humor... Furthermore, this movie has no focus at all... I refuse to call it an action movie because the action was just a handful... I cannot call it romance either because the lovey dovey scenes between Dong-gung Jang and Kate Bosworth were terrible (the cowgirl accent made it worst)... I can't also call it a tragedy because the killings and massacre didn't touch my heart... This movie lack focus... It was all over the place!!!

This movie would be better if the fighting scenes were more elaborated... Instead of showing how Yang instantly kills an enemy with a single slash, they should let him dance for a while with awesome sword handling techniques... They should also raise the pace and cut the warrior soul searching scenes... The movie should also be gorier... Besides that, they should change the battle between ninjas and cowboy bandits scene - ninjas kill their targets by hiding in the dark and being stealth... They don't just charge forward recklessly... Only samurais do that...

I was really disappointed because I had high hopes for this movie since it was made by the producers of Lord of the Rings... and the trailers were great! I thought that it would at least be at par with the movie "300"... But I was dead wrong... Shisshhh...

I like the costumes though... the ninja outfits were wicked and intimidating... I also like how the ninjas appeared... 

(3 out of 10 stars)

The movie Due Date was funny... but it was not funny enough... It started out very slow and some jokes seemed kinda forced... The real laugh only started at the middle of the movie when Robert Downey Jr and Zach Galifianakis finally managed to avoid the slapsticks and focused on more spontaneous humorous acts... 

Robert Downey Jr sure knows how to act... His fast talking, face impressions and perfect timing to pop out jokes are great... I could say that his actings saved the movie...

The funniest scene is when they accidentally drank Zach's dead father's ashes... I cried laughing... 

There were attempts to put some heartfelt moments into the movie by bringing up the issue of Zach's dead father... those attempts almost failed because of Zach couldn't portrayed a sad expression... However, the director was clever enough to shorten the scenes and focus more on the journey... 

All in all, Due Date is a good comedy... However, it lacks "heart"... Yes, u'll have good laugh but there's not enough substance to keep u grinning even after hours of watching it... 

(6 out of 10 stars)

Last Friday, I arrived at Melaka from Terengganu at 5.30 am... I was tired and I wanted to get home as fast as I could... So, I opted for a taxi ride... 

Taxi drivers in Melaka are rude and stupid... They tried to trick me into paying RM20 for a ride from Melaka Sentral to Kubu... If u're familiar with the Melaka Town, u would know that Melaka Sentral and Kubu is fucking near to one another... 

I've stayed in Melaka for 5 years now... and I always pay RM15 max for a taxi ride to Kubu... I would never pay a higher amount... So, I seriously thought of just walking home instead of arguing about the ridiculous high fare with the stupid driver any longer... He even yelled at me... Dammit... Just when I was about to walkaway from him, he immediately lowered the rate to RM15... 

Taxi drivers in Melaka are really stupid... They charge such high fare and therefore, they dont really have many customers... U can see them at Melaka Sentral, Dataran Pahlawan and Hang Tuah Mall, desperately looking for customers... People prefer to ride buses because they are 10 times cheaper... 

Today, when I was looking at myself in the mirror, I thought that I looked kinda handsome... With my  beard, I looked like Wolverine (Hugh Jackman)... I felt good about myself... That means my confidence level has gotten higher... That's good... I need it if I wanted to be a good teacher...

Then I thought about all of my past crushes... I wondered how would they think of me if they saw me now... I used to be quite a nerd... Though I never combed my hair, because of my quiet personality, people often considered me as nerdy and unattractive...Well, if those girls came to me now, trying to get some, I would tell them to stay away... Coz I'm taken...

I thought about how I used to do ridiculous things just to get those girls' attention... like how I always called them via the house phone to ask about homework... that didn't work so well because I always ended up being silent and they would hang up on me... I often planned about what I wanted to say before calling... I even rehearsed the lines in my head or in front of the mirror in my bathroom... But as I picked up the phone, those words seemed to fade away... Crap...

I remembered about ten years ago how I seldom cycled to the top of a hill near my place and screamed "I love u" loudly... by doing that, I hoped  that the girl that I was having a crush on magically heard me (even though she's like thousand miles away from that spot)... How ridiculous... I'm so embarrassed now... Seriously, what was I thinking?? Shit... I feel like shooting myself now... I blame all the Malay love movies I watched...

How I wished I could turn back time and undo that... Yeah, I would undo a lot of stuff...

drawing girls is kinda tricky...

Last Friday, during Friday prayer, I held my breath for so long, I almost fainted... It was because the guy on my left was so smelly... He smelled like fish... While the guy on my right put on too much perfume... It made me dizzy... It was so difficult to focus on praying when I couldn't even breathe easy... 

I did some searches online and I found that in Islam, it is encouraged that we bath and put on a little bit of perfume before we pray... it is because when we pray, we are actually 'meeting' Allah... So we would want to look our best... When applying perfume, make sure that it doesn't attract too much attention and distract other fellow Muslims while praying... 

I wondered why the guy on my left was so smelly... His clothes seemed clean... Maybe it's because he was sweating a lot because he's kinda chubby... I wondered whether he wore deodorant or not... Most probably he didn't... 

Anyway, last month, while my family and I were on our way home from granny's house, we stopped at a huge mosque in Dungun for Friday prayer... After the prayer, we found that someone had stolen my younger brother's slippers... Those slippers were kinda new... My mom bought them for Hari Raya...

He was furious... He put a curse on the person who had stolen those slippers... He cursed that the thief's feet would be crushed by a huge trailer in an accident... He had to walk barefooted to the car that was parked outside the mosque area... It was hilarious... I added oil to his fire by giggling... As soon as we left the mosque, we went straight to the shoe store and mom bought him a new pair... but the new one looked rather ugly... it made my day...

I experienced the same thing once... Someone stole my slippers during Friday prayer... However, I refused to be barefooted... so I stole someone else's slippers... I didn't feel proud about it but those slippers I stole were rather comfortable... I still hope the owner didn't curse me for stealing his slippers... 

I like her because she's always smiling - she has a cute smile... (I love girls with cute smiles... my girl has a cute smile)... and I also like her hair (I like red heads)...

I LIKE KARI BYRON

Whenever I eat parts of chicken, I often wonder about the number of chicken got killed daily in order to prevent humans from starving... 

I Googled "How many chicken got killed daily for food across the world"... apparently, in the United States of America (USA), 23-27 million are killed daily... while 29 million more are killed in the United Kingdom (UK)... well, only those two countries bothered to count the chicken they killed because I couldn't find the number for other countries... 

27 million plus 29 million equals to 56 fuckin' million... If added with the numbers from other countries, the number can be summed up to more than 1000 million I guess... That's mass murder... No wonder people turn vegetarian... They cannot handle the guilt...

I think we should honor the chicken because they sacrifice themselves to feed us, humans... We should have Chicken Day - the day when we don't eat chicken... The chicken would be happy to celebrate that... 

Sometimes I imagine what would I do if one day I found a bag full of money... Maybe a robber threw it there when he was chased by cops... or maybe a senile rich old man put it down on the road to get his car keys from his pocket and then forgot to take the bag and drove off... Well, life is full of possibilities... so, if that really happened, what would I do?

Firstly, I would go buy a new bag... The owner of the bag could be looking for it... So, I wouldn't want him to see me carrying it... He would most probably kill me or ask for the bag back... So, I would get myself a new bag pack and go to the toilet and transfer the money into the new bag... I would just leave the old bag in the toilet or dump it in the trash can...

Then, I would go to the nearest hotel and check myself in... In the hotel room, all by myself, I would check the money to make sure that there's no tracer being planted in between the bills... I read somewhere that banks usually put tracers on the bills to trace missing money... If I found tracers, I would immediately take them out and go out of the room and check the hotel surroundings for signs of cops... If I saw cops, I would rush out of the hotel and stick the tracers on moving cars so that the cops would be chasing the wrong targets... After the coast is clear, I would go back to my room and count the money!!

I figured that banks can detect the stolen money's serial number... Therefore, I wouldn't be able to bank in the money into my bank account... But I wouldn't want to carry the money around or hide it somewhere in my room... So, I would spend the money bit by bit... Instead of banking in the money that I found into my account, I would bank in the CHANGE from the money I spent... I would only spent the money on little stuff...

After I'd banked in all of the money (it would take forever) , I would have nothing else to worry about! I would be filthy rich!! Because I banked in the money bit by bit, if someone asked me how I got rich, I would say that I saved the money little by little... Like the Malay proverb goes - "Sikit-sikit, lama-lama jadi bukit..." HAHAHA!! I would buy myself houses around university campuses and rent them to students... Therefore, I would get money transfered into my account every month! I would buy all the gadgets that I always wanted like iPhones, iPads, laptops, tablet PCs, etc... I would buy a big motorbike and a nice car!! Wuihhhh~

However, suddenly I thought about my conscience... Yeah, I kinda do have a big conscience... If I got rich that way, I would be forever haunted by guilt... I wouldn't be happy... I guess that's why people say - money cant buy you happiness...