Assalamualaikum dan salam sejahtera diucapkan kepada semua pembaca. 

Saya bukannya ustaz atau pakar dalam bidang kekeluargaan. Tujuan saya menulis ini adalah untuk peringatan kepada diri saya sendiri. Saya fikir, daripada simpan sendirian, adalah lebih baik untuk saya sampaikan kepada orang ramai agar boleh menjadi pedoman. 

I actually have rehearsed telling this to people too many times. Every time a friend is about to get married, I prepare myself for the question, "Fahmi, ada tak tips yang aku patut tahu sebelum kahwin?" 

However, being the introvert and sort of anti-social that I am, the chance for me to share tips or stories never came. Therefore, here I am, sitting alone, writing it down here. 

Like I mentioned, I am not an expert in relationship and all but for those who don't know, I have been married since 11 November 2011. There are ups and so many downs in my marriage but I am still married so maybe you can learn a thing or two from me. Besides that, bare in mind that this is written from my point of view as a man, a husband and a father.

Baiklah, shall we get started? 

AGAMA

Kepada yang beragama Islam, pegangan agama adalah sangat penting khususnya pada kaum lelaki / bakal suami. 

I have to admit that I am not the most religious person ever. There are many things that I should improve in terms of being religious. Sembahyang pun belum sempurna lagi. 

Take a lot around. Think about your friends. I bet mesti ada ramai kawan perempuan anda yang tiba - tiba bertudung selepas berkahwin. Sebelum kahwin atau semasa masih belajar, ada yang sememangnya sangat bergaya dengan pakaian seksi dan rambut yang ikal mayang tetapi selepas berkahwin, mereka bergaya pula dengan tudung hijabista, Hana Tajima dan macam macam lagi. 

My wife pun sama. Kawan - kawan satu kolej pasti ingat yang isteri saya dahulu tidak memakai tudung dan boleh dikatakan sangat bergaya dengan macam macam fesyen pemakaian. So cute and chic. Tetapi kira kira beberapa bulan sebelum berkahwin, beliau tergerak hati untuk memakai tudung dan ia berterusan sehingga kini. 

My point is, apa yang saya cuba untuk sampaikan ialah, sejahil jahil mana pun kita atau pasangan kita, akan ada satu masa yang kita atau pasangan akan berubah. Ramai yang menganggap yang perkahwinan adalah satu titik penamat bagi segala aktiviti dan kelakuan yang kurang keagamaan dan permulaan untuk kehidupan yang lebih dekat dengan Allah. 

Jadi, pada yang ingin berkahwin, bersiap sedialah diri anda dengan ilmu agama. 

Bagi yang lelaki, pastikan anda tahu rukun iman, rukun islam dan rukun nikah kerana tok kadi saya dulu tanya benda benda tu semasa akad nikah. Selawat juga. Malu lah jika anda lupa benda benda tersebut semasa dikelilingi oleh saudara saudara dan rakan rakan di majlis akad nikah. 

Kemudian, pastikan juga para lelaki tahu bagaimana untuk menjadi imam kepada isteri khususnya untuk sembahyang Maghrib, Isya' dan Subuh. Tiga waktu sembahyang ini, imam kena baca surah surah dengan kuat, jadi hafal la surah surah lazim. Tidak ketinggalan juga doa selepas solat. 

I have to say, saya masih lagi fail bab bab sembahyang ni. Rasa malu dengan isteri kerana hanya surah surah basic sahaja mampu dilafazkan. Doa lepas sembahyang pun entah apa apa. Maafkan saya sayang. I'll try to be a better imam for you. 

Memang betullah kalau kita bagi nasihat kepada orang lain, ia juga peringatan untuk diri sendiri. Terus terasa di hati. 

Back to the topic, para lelaki juga harus tahu tentang nafkah. Saya juga agak jahil tentang perkara ini. It turns out that, duit suami adalah hak isteri dan duit isteri adalah hak isteri. Jika isteri bekerja, gaji isteri itu 100 % milik isteri. Terpulanglah kepada isteri untuk buat apa dengan duit dia. Nak kongsi atau tak, up to her. Suami pula have to provide for the family. 

Again, I'm no expert. Jika ada yang salah, sila betulkan. 

Setiap bulan, suami wajib bagi nafkah kepada isteri. Wang yang diberikan haruslah diumumkan untuk tujuan apa. For example, every month, setiap kali bagi wang kepada isteri, saya akan beritahu, "Yang ini untuk nafkah, yang ini pula untuk belanja. Cukup tak?". 

Nafkah batin pula bukanlah semata mata hubungan intim sesama mahram. Nafkah batin bermaksud suami wajib menggembirakan isteri, melayan kerenah isteri, bergurau senda, be a shoulder to cry on and etc. 

Haih, as I'm typing this, memang sedar yang banyak kekurangan saya ni. I'm sorry honey. 

Kemudian, tidak lupa tanggungjawab suami untuk mendidik anak anak tentang hal hal agama. Suami kena lah bersama sama isteri untuk mengajar anak tentang macam macam. 

Banyak tanggungjawab suami ni. Sebelum kahwin, honestly, I didn't think that the burden would be big. I just wish that someone explained to me how heavy it is the load that husbands have to carry. Now that I'm married, the pressure is so so real. 

The big point is, pasangan yang ingin berkahwin harus ingat yang, walaupun pasangan yang jahil, namun akan datang masa yang pasangan kita tiba tiba ingin berubah. Just prepare yourselves for at least the basics. Seriously, without religion, tanpa agama, sesuatu hubungan rumah tangga itu seperti kurang bermakna dan tiada pedoman. I'm talking from experience. Kuatkanlah iman kita. 

ANAK

Dalam banyak banyak ayat yang Ustaz Ebit Lew bagi, yang saya paling ingat ialah; "Anak adalah amanah, bukan hak milik". My mind was blown when he said that. I always thought that, "Eh, anak aku, ikut suka hati aku la buat apa kat dia, kan?"

But no, anak merupakan amanah daripada Allah untuk kita jaga betul - betul.

Would I recommend having kids? Haha, no. I won't recommend you having kids because it is an enormous responsibility. Tanggungjawab sebagai ibu bapa adalah lebih lebih lebih besar daripada menjadi seorang suami / isteri.

Before you decide that you want kids, you have to really look into yourselves and ponder, "Am I really ready to be a daddy / mummy?"

If you're still in a honeymoon state, I would suggest you wait longer before having kids. Kalau anda masih lagi ada perasaan untuk keluar dating bersama tanpa gangguan dan kerisauan, kalau anda ingin mengembara ke seluruh pelusuk dunia, kalau anda masih lagi ingin bebas, tak payah ada anak dulu.

Saya tahu, ramai yang berkata atau berfikir yang kita patut ada anak secepat mungkin. Selepas kahwin, terus pulun! Saya sendiri pun mendapat cahaya mata yang pertama selepas setahun kahwin.

To be honest, sometimes I wish I don't have kids. Not because I don't love my kids. God, I swear, I love my children. But there are moments when I just want to be a kid myself and I can't do that while being a father. I want to be selfish, I want to have my own time, I want a childhood that I don't really have. If I can just turn back time, I would go back to when I was a college kid with no worries, no big responsibilities.

Welp, too late. I can't undo this. My kids are here and I have to deal with them the best I can. Sebelum ada anak, boleh keluar bila bila masa, balik lewat, pergi mana mana tanpa kerisauan. Sekarang dah ada anak, kena cari masa untuk keluar. Keluar pun, hati tetap fikir pasal anak anak. Kalau bawa anak pergi jalan jalan, kena fikir macam macam. Selesa tak, ada tak tempat untuk anak tidur petang, menghadap tantrum dan manja diorang. Ya Allah, sangat leceh ada anak ni.

As I mentioned, it is also a big responsibility because we determine how our children will grow. Like people said, "Kalau nak tengok perangai sebenar seseorang, tengok perangai anak dia". This is so true. Pantang salah mencarut sikit, boom budak budak ni ulang. Pantang tersilap pukul sedikit, boom budak budak ikut pukul kalau frustrated.

Having a child, kita kena jaga tingkah laku kita, percakapan kita, pergaulan kita sebab semua benda pun anak akan ikut.

Selain itu, having children requires you to be the most patient person in the world. For example, jika anak mengamuk, tantrum, ketika di shopping mall. HUAAAA NAK TOYS!!! NAK TOYS!! bergolek tak tentu pasal. Kita tak boleh join tantrum TAK BOLEHHHHH! ARGGHHH! Nope. Kita sebagai ibu bapa kena sabar dan cakap elok elok kat anak. Kalau kita pun ikut jerit sekali, anak pun dua kali ganda jerit dia. Mampuih. Perlu sabar dan dalam masa yang sama, tidak boleh mengalah. Kalau kita mengalah dan beri dia apa yang dia nak, next time dia akan mengamuk lagi jika kita cakap tak boleh.

Anda juga perlu tahu yang semakin besar anak, semakin susah untuk kita menjaganya. Bagi saya, saat paling senang untuk menjaga anak ialah semasa mereka baby lagi. Lapar? Suap makanan. Mengantuk? Kita dodoi. Bosan? Kita dukung. Tapi bila dah besar, Ya Allah macam macam kerenah dia ada.

I cannot blame them though. When they grow up, they develop new emotions that they are not familiar with. They don't know how to cope with these new feelings and the easiest way to let it out is by throwing tantrums.

I don't blame them for having tantrums but boy oh boy it's hard to handle. I think most parents would know the feeling of wanting to picit picit kepala budak ni while still loving the hell out of them.

Okay, back to the main point, if you want kids, think carefully. Consider about not being free, consider about having to deal with tantrums days and nights. Consider about bergaduh dengan pasangan sebab anak anak buat hal. I would suggest young couples to enjoy being with each other as much as you can before having children. Don't rush it. I know, your parents asyik mengeluh bila la nak dapat cucu niiiiiiiii.... Tapi yang kena jaga anak ialah kita, bukan parents kita. Jadi pastikan anda betul betul bersedia mentally and physically dulu, sebelum pulun buat anak.



MENTAL HEALTH

As I mentioned above, being a husband or wife is a huge responsibility and if it's added with the enormous responsibility of being a parent plus a side of financial concerns and work stress, it is easy for a married person to be overwhelmed.

To be honest, I myself have gone through periods of mild depression. Well, I didn't really go to see a doctor to get properly diagnosed but the reading that I did all pointed to me being mildly depressed.

The cause of my depression was non other than the gigantic amount of responsibility on my shoulder top with the guilt of not doing everything right and also not having enough resources for focus on my own wants and needs.

It was killing me inside. It affected my relationship, my work, how I view myself and among other things. I didn't feel like doing anything and I didn't want to meet anyone. I hated people. Making it worse was I don't really have a friend to just hang out. Being an introvert, I do cherish every alone time I have but we all need at least one friend.

I used to love being me but now I hate myself occasionally. I used to not want to die but now dying not seems so bad. THIS REALLY SCARES ME THE MOST.

The thing about being an introvert is, I also was aware of mental state because I spent a lot of time pondering about myself. That's the beauty of being alone, you get to spend quality time with yourself. So, knowing how I was falling into a hole of cold hell, I decided to find out ways to overcome or lessen my depression.

I started gaming. Counter Strike: Global Offensive is a game that I've always wanted to play. I didn't play it before because I kept thinking I have too many things to do and I'm an adult now so stop being childish bro. Besides, CSGO is an online game where you have to interact with other players. Being introvert, the idea was quite daunting. However, I can say that CSGO sort of saved my life. Yeah, there are a handful of toxic gamers out there that love putting people like me down but there are also many many supportive gamers who are friendly and chill.

Playing CSGO for me is more than just trying to enjoy a game. Playing CSGO is me hanging out with my friends at a few bomb sites. We have never met in real life but my CSGO friends are chill and we have fun together making jokes and making fun of each other. Many of them are way younger than me but that does not stop them from accepting me.

Having these online friends seems better than having real ones haha.

Besides gaming, I also started going out more. I go to movies alone. I only limit myself to only seeing superhero movies which means I only go around once a month or once every two months but it is better than not seeing any movies at all. Sometimes I don't do anything at all. I just sit at a restaurant and watch people like what I used to do during college.

The big point here is, it is easy for a family person to fall into depression but instead of letting yourself fall deeper and deeper into that cold and lonely hole, do something to get yourself out.

Depression is no joke. If you find yourself being crazy, do something. Work out, play sports, go to a park, walk around, read good books and etc. If you can't bring yourself to do all those, go see a doctor. There are pills that can really help and psychiatrists can help you put yourselves together.

If you see people you know showing signs of depression, try to help him/her. You don't have to really try hard to help a depressed person. Most depressed people tend to feel useless and unwanted. A simple text message asking "Hey, how are you" can make a huge difference. A half an hour of hanging out drinking coffee can make a huge difference.


FAMILY 

My wife is a wise person. When we first got married, she said - "Keluarga you, keluarga I jugak." She told me that I shouldn't refer to her mother as 'mak you' but instead, I should just refer her as 'mak kita'. Our mother instead of your mom.

What I am trying to say is, when we got married, keluarga pasangan kita akan menjadi keluarga kita juga. Dua keluarga menjadi satu.

When it comes to family, acceptance is key. There are always a few family members that are problematic. We all have that crazy siblings or relatives. But because they are family, we have to accept them and be patient.

Jika ada ahli keluarga pasangan kita yang buat hal, jangan sesekali berkata, "Ini semua adik you punya pasal!" atau "Family you ni memang selalu bermasalah, kan?" No no no. Ingat, adik beradik pasangan kita adalah adik beradik kita juga. Keluarga pasangan kita adalah keluarga kita juga. Jadi, kita patut usaha bantu adik beradik ipar kita. Kita patut sabar dengan perangai mereka seperti kita sabar dengan ahli keluarga kandung kita sendiri. Terima mereka seadanya.

Do you get what I mean? The reason this is important is because I have seen so many divorces happened because the families did not unite. Apabila bergaduh, keluarga isteri memihak kepada isteri dan keluarga suami memihak kepada si suami. Ini salah. Seharusnya kedua dua keluarga berbincang bersama sama, dengar cerita dari dua dua pihak sebelum membuat keputusan. There are always two sides of a story.





Okay, so far, this is all of the tips that I can think of. If I have more, I would post on this topic again. Again, this is based on my own experience and I am no expert. If there are mistakes, please comment.

Cheers.

It was around 5.00 am and I woke up early to do my laundry at a nearby coin self service laundromat. I always do my laundry at this hour because I won't have to wait for other people to use the washing machines. 

Oh, forgot to mention that I go to the laundromat because my washing machine is broken and it costs a lot to fix it. 

So, after I finished loading my clothes into the machines, I thought it would be a good idea to walk to a mamak place nearby. 

I made my journey by foot and halfway there, I noticed a big dog approaching me. 

Lets get this clear, I usually keep my cool when it comes to stray dogs because I remember someone saying that dogs would only chase if you run. 

I kept calm and continued walking. 

When the dog was around one meter away from me, it suddenly let out a huge bark. It was not a friendly bark. Following the bark was a bit of a growl. 

I was freakin' nervous because I never had that before with strays. Most strays that I encountered were kinda friendly but this one was showing no signs of friendliness. 

Suddenly, more dogs appeared. Oh shit. Oh fuckin shit. There were 3 other dogs as big as the first one. I felt like I was being jumped by gangsters. 

I remembered seeing on TV or Youtube that when confronting a dog, you must show you're the alpha and fuck me I tried to show those beasts I'm the frickin alpha! I shouted RAHHHHHH and had my hands thrown to the air like a crazy person. 

The lead dog gave chase and I ran. 

I ran straight to the mamak place and as soon as I reached it, I immediately sat on one of the chairs. It was early, so there were only 4 customers there and they were a bit startled when they saw me suddenly sitting there after sprinting so fast. 

I tried to act like nothing happened but hell my hands were shaking. 

A mamak saw the dogs who had already retreated and gathered what happened. He smiled like the thing that happened to me was funny. 

Those beasts were savages, dawg!! Don't smile like being chased by dogs are funny! Fuck this mamak. 

"Teh tarik satu, roti kosong satu." 

"Hehe, siap!"

I hate dogs. 

I browse reddit a lot and it made me think that dogs are better than cats because people of reddit love dogs so much. I have been seeing many great posts about dogs and it made me think that dogs are so cute and loyal and funny. 

WELP, NOT ANYMORE. I hate dogs now. Fuck them. 

As an introvert, I have been spending a lot of time being alone. I go to movies alone, I eat meals alone and I walk around alone and it is fine. The solitude has never felt lonely and it is often calming. 

However, it doesn't mean that I don't enjoy the company of friends. In fact, I love going out with people. You might argue that I seem more of an ambivert than introvert but the fact that I have been spending most of my time alone more than with people would make me stand on the idea of me being mostly an introvert. 

I guess even though I'm an introvert, I am still a normal human being and we all know that humans are social creatures. Being alone all the time would make someone go crazy. As much as I enjoy my time alone in a fortress of solitude, I think I would go insane if I don't interact with people at all. 

Lately I have been feeling a lot of pressure from family and work and at this kind of moment that I realize how much I need a friend. I found myself missing all of the friends that I had and I am really hoping that I least one of them would just give me a call and ask me out to hang out. 

Welp, so far, my phone has not rang. And I feel that it is entirely my fault for being this stupid introvert who can't maintain any kinds of friendship. 

I've always been introverted. I've been this way since primary school and everyone thought of me as weird. It was a wonder how I had some best friends. 

My very first best friend was Abdul Rahim Adam. We were classmates through out primary school and he was always supportive of me. At that time, cell phones didn't exist so we talked on the land line almost everyday about school and homework. We rode bikes together and we talked about beating our bullies together. I loved him so much. 

But he suddenly changed when we were in secondary school. All of a sudden, he just stopped becoming my friend. No notice, no signs. He just stopped talking to me and stopped hanging out. It broke my heart to pieces. I wished he would have just explained why. I guess he outgrew me. Maybe I was holding him back. I still think about him though. Every time I pass his house, flashes of out times together would be played in my mind. I'm so pathetic. 

I found my second best friend when I was in form 4 or 5. Hafizul Mat. I loved this guy too. We became best friends because we read the same comic books. Every week, after a chapter came out, we would discuss about it and had the best time. He is a bit poyo but I didn't mind because he's fun to hang out with. 

Then, we graduated secondary school and just like that, our friendship ended. It's my fault. I suck at keeping in touch and maintaining long distance friendships. I don't even have his number nor friend him on Facebook. I tried searching for his traces online but nothing came up. I wish I can see him again. 

To be clear, these two are not the only friends I had. They are my best of friends. I do have other friends like Hudzaifah, Shahrin, Safuan, Marfiq, Saifullah and others. But Abdul Rahim Adam and Hafizul Mat were the closest. 

Gosh, Marfiq Haziq. I miss this guy. He's not my best friend but he was the kindest and most sincere person I've ever met. We were classmates in secondary school and I've always known him as a cheerful and kind person. Every time I talked to him, I can just feel his sincerity. You know, when you talk to genuine person, you just know. The aura is apparent and... you just know. I think you know what I mean. 

"Jangan mengeluh. Tak baik mengeluh." Those were his words that I remember the most.

He was the last friend I talked too before I moved from Terengganu to Negeri Sembilan. I wish I can see him again just to feel his kindness. 

My third best friend was Ridhwan whom I met in Pre-Degree at UiTM Lendu, Melaka. He was my roommate and he became a big brother to me. Maybe it was because I was so hopeless of a person that he took up the responsibility to take care of me. I was moneyless, friendless and a total dork when I started university life. His family was very nice to me too. 

After that, we proceeded to Degree at Kampus Bandaraya Melaka and I made more best friends. Alief, Fadzly, Alvin, Ridhwan and me. We were the Kubulicious or the Kubu Clan. Housemates and best of friends. 

To tell you the truth, Degree life at Bandar Melaka was the best moment of my life and it is mostly because of these four guys. We hang out and partied and had a lot of fun. I don't know what are their feelings towards me but for me, they're like my brothers and I think about them almost everyday. 

Then, life happens. We graduated and grew apart from each other. 

Ridhwan told me to keep in touch with him before we parted from each other but as I mentioned, I suck at that. It's all my fault. Sorry Ridhwan. You made such an effort to call me but stupid me just listened and not responded. After some time, you grew tired of me and just stopped calling. All my fault. 

I've been making some effort to keep being friends. I tried reaching out and invited them to hang out during some weekends. But it feels like I'm the one who is desperate to rekindle the fire while they all have moved on with their own lives. 

I feel tired. 

After them, I longer have any close friends. I can never find people who have the same wavelength as me and have the same interests. This is my own fault. Honestly, I don't really put much effort in finding a new best friend. I do want one. I do need one. But it is so hard for me to do it. Stupid me. 

Yes I married and many people say that you're best friends with your spouses. But it's not the same. Having a wife and having a best friend. It's not the same. Plus, my wife and I are completely the opposite of each other. Our interests are different. I wish I can talk about CSGO or manga with her but I think it would only bore her. We have been spending time a lot together but it just feels different if we do it with friends and I am sure she agrees with me. 

We need our own 'me time' which is completely healthy for a committed relationship. 

I wish I can change myself but it's so damn hard. Every thing is hard and I just want a friend to hang out. Not a friend to pour my feelings out but just to hang out.  

Pada beberapa minggu yang lepas, sewaktu memandu, saya perasan yang terdapat satu bunyi pelik pada kereta saya - Proton Saga FLX. Bunyinya seperti benda bergesel. Shhhht shhhht shhhhht dan bunyi itu hanya ada semasa kereta bergerak. 

Lantas, saya hubungi rakan pensyarah Politeknik saya, Hilmi, untuk bertanya tentangnya. Hilmi meminta saya untuk membawa kereta ke bengkel Jabatan Kejuteraan Mekanikal Politeknik Port Dickson untuk pemeriksaan lebih terperinci. 

Untuk pengetahuan semua, Politeknik yang menawarkan kursus Kejuruteraan Mekanikal kebanyakkannya membuka bengkel mereka untuk orang awam. Contohnya di Politeknik Port Dickson, tempat saya bekerja, bengkel dibuka kepada semua bagi tujuan penyelenggaraan dan pembaikian masalah masalah kenderaan yang kurang serius. Bengkel ini juga menawarkan khidmat basuh kereta. Semua kerja kerja bengkel dilakukan oleh para pelajar Politeknik di bawah pemantauan dan tunjuk ajar pensyarah. 

Setelah sampai di bengkel, Hilmi tidak kelihatan namun rakan pensyarah yang lain iaitu Encik Zubir sedia membantu. Encik Zubir membawa kereta saya untuk mendengar sendiri bunyi pelik tersebut. 

Selepas pemeriksaan, didapati yang brake pad kereta saya sudah haus dan perlu ditukar baru. 

Alhamdulillah, kos yang di caj oleh bengkel adalah RM110 bagi caj perkhidmatan dan pembelian empat brake pad yang baru.

Hello guys. A little bit of background before I go on about Raid: Shadow Legends. 

I started playing gacha games just a couple of months ago and the first that I tried was Fire Emblem Heroes (FEH). I immediately fell in love with concept of gacha because of the hero collecting concept. After a few days, I then tried Valiant Force which I felt is quite better than FEH in terms of artwork and gameplay. However, Valiant Force just celebrated its second anniversary and for me, it means that the game is rather old and not the latest trend. Besides, the 3D artwork is not as beautiful as its 2D ones. The chibi look of the 3D artwork felt rather childish for me. Because of that, no matter how much I liked Valiant Force, I had to let it go to search for other games that suit my taste. 

After trying so many top gacha games like Epic Seven, Azur Lane, Dragalia Lost, Honkai Impact and etc, I finally came to a conclusion that Raid: Shadow Legends is the best gacha game for me. 

First of all, I love that it is turn based. As a husband, father of two and full time employee, I don't really have the time to focus myself playing games. Therefore, I prefer turn based games more because I can just click and then do my work and then click again and resume working. I don't have to focus on the game. 

Besides that, there is an auto play function which makes the game a lot more easier for me to play. Click auto play, I leave it for a few minutes, then I click it again. This way, I can play while I do my work or play with the kids. 

Next, the artwork is awesome and beautiful. Unlike most gacha games which focus on having that anime looks, Raid: Shadow Legends has more western influence and seems to aim for more mature gamers. The characters are thoughtfully designed and even the background is beautiful. 

However, changing the artifacts and leveling up the champions do not change their appearances. At first, I was put off by that but after a while, I got used to it. Besides, the character designs are elaborated enough. 

There are many game modes to play daily like campaign, dungeons, clan boss and arena. 

Campaign mode is the story mode where the more you progress, the tougher your opponents would be. There are three levels for campaign which are normal, hard and brutal. I think the story is quite good though not mind blowing but the levels are thoughtfully designed for a fun challenging play. Each time you manage to finish a stage, you would be rewarded with items that can be used to level up your champions. 

Dungeons mode is where you battle to level get more items to make your champions stronger. After beating all of the stages and level in campaign, I found myself spending most of my time in dungeons collecting artifacts and potions to make my champions the best version of themselves. 

Clan boss and Arena modes are where you would interact with other gamers from all around the world. In clan boss, you would cooperate with other gamers to take down a high level monster whereas, for Arena, you would battle other gamers. Honestly, I don't really care much about these two game modes and just play them to fulfill the daily quests. Most of the time, I focus on Campaign and Dungeons to level up my champions. 

Besides those four modes, the developer is in the process of adding more game modes in the future. 

Of course, all games have their own bad side that may hinder most people from playing it. For Raid: Shadow Legends, the bad side is this game is grindy as fuck. 

What I mean by grindy is you really have to put a lot of effort and time to progress throughout the game. Leveling out one champion to the max may take you a couple of months even when playing daily. The most frustrating for me is leveling the artifacts. Urgh. I have to admit that I did quit one time. I uninstalled the game after failing to level up a single artifact despite trying so many times.

Besides that, the developer of this game, Plarium, is a bit greedy. As a free to play (F2P) player, I find it hard to get the best champions while those who spend a lot of money would be having many high grade champions. This is why I don't really care about the Clan Boss and Arena game modes. Other players who are willing to spend money on this game would have better champions than me. Winning against them would take a miracle. I don't think I would be getting any Legendary champion any time soon. 

All in all, Raid: Shadow Legends is my favorite gacha game (so far) because it is turn based with an auto play button, the visuals are great and I love the game modes. Despite it being pay to win (P2W) and extremely grindy, I do still enjoy collecting all the champions and fulfilling quests and challenges. I love this game. Plarium, please give me Legendary haha

For those who want to try the game, you can click my referral link: 

https://link.plrm.zone/app/lkjy

If you install the game through this link, I would receive in game rewards yeay.

Hello guys. I am a fan of manga and of course I have been reading many popular mainstream mangas such as Naruto, Bleach, One Piece, Black Clover, One-Punch Man and many more. Yes, they are entertaining to read weekly but as I grow older, my taste has been sort of evolving and I have been craving for more mature content. 

By mature, I'm not referring to hentai but there are nudity in the manga, I would welcome it. haha. I'm just human after all. 

Therefore, here are some of the mangas I have been binge reading. Bare in mind that this is according to my personal taste and thus some of you might not agree with my choices. If you have any suggestions, please be kind enough to comment so that I can check them out. 

KINGDOM

Author/mangaka : Hara Yasuhisa

Status : Ongoing

Genre : War, action, comedy, drama, martial arts, history

The manga Kingdom follows the story of Shin, an orphan who was unintentionally involved in the coup d'etat of the king of Qin named Sei. However, the turmoil worked in Shin's favour as he aimed to be one of The General of Heavens and him meeting Sei opened up a path for him to reach that goal. 

This is the manga that I am currently reading. So far, it has more than 600 chapters and I have just reached chapter 208. What is good about this manga is the action which is rather gory yet engaging. Shin, the main character is simple minded (like typical main manga characters like Naruto, Luffy & etc) and physically strong. People underestimated him but Shin continued to progress and surprise people with his vigor and strength. It's fun to see him cut down strong enemies no matter what it took out of him. Besides the main, other side characters are also interesting as they posses various personalities and strengths.

I can say that the drawing style is classic manga with a mix of classic chinese influence. In the beginning chapters, the drawing is rather rough but I notice significant improvement as the manga progresses. 

This manga supposedly follows the lore of ancient China but I am pretty sure that it is not historically accurate as many elements are exaggerated. However, we read mangas not for history lessons aren't we? We read it for the good story and excitement of battles which is plenty in this manga. Not gonna lie, some chapters made me shed one or two manly tears.

Kingdom has an ongoing anime series, a live action movie, and video games. However, the games are only Japan released. 

AKUMETSU

Author/mangaka : Tabata Yoshiaki

Status : Completed

Genre : Action, Drama, Mature, Politics

Nagasawa Shiina resorted to prostitution in order to pay for her family's debt but during a session with her very first customer, she encountered Akumetsu, a young man wearing an Oni mask. Akumetsu slaughtered all of the customers who are made up of significant politicians and businessmen. After the murder, Akumetsu was shot dead by policemen but then reappeared again in a series of brutal murders of politicians and public figures. 

Another gory manga with a side of sex stuff. I told you I was looking for mature content, didn't I? However, this manga does provide a deeper meaning in horrendous murders. Akumetsu murdered only public figures who he deemed guilty for turning Japan into a corrupted country. The best part of this manga is the ways of how he killed all of those people. I don't want to spoil anything but hehe I love the action so much. 

The artwork is also a part of the charm. It is indeed beautifully drawn. 

Wolf Guy - Ookami no Monshou

Author/mangaka : Tabata Yoshiaki

Status : Completed

Genre : Action, Drama, Mature, Supernatural

Akiko Aoshika is a teacher who just got divorced. Walking home drunk, she stumbled upon Akira who was then brutally attacked by gang members. When Akira seemed pretty dead and the gangsters started going through his pockets, a beast appeared slaughtering them mercilessly. The next day, Aoshika came to class and found out that Akira was her new transfer student. 

I fell in love with Tabata Yoshiaki sensei's art style after reading Akumetsu and therefore searched for more of his work. Wolf Guy sort of follows the same theme as Akumetsu - gory action and many sex stuff - but instead of political, it is supernatural. 

SHIN MAZINGER ZERO

Author/mangaka : Go Nagai, Tabata Yoshiaki

Status : Ongoing

Genre : Action, Drama, Mature, Mecha, Sci-fi

Kouji Kabuto piloted a super robot, Mazinger Z, to fight against Dr Hell and his forces of evil. However, the story of this manga is rather different from the anime series and original stories as it involves time travel to prevent Kouji Kabuto and Mazinger Z from becoming an agent of ultimate destruction.

Again, as I craved more of Tabata Yoshiaki work, I stumbled upon this manga. I have to admit that when I first started reading, I haven't seen or read any of the original Mazinger Z series and therefore I had no idea what the story is going to be like.

Same with the previous two mangas mentioned, this one contains gory brutal action and a lot of sexy stuff. It kinda caught me off guard haha. I mean, I know it's Tabata Yoshiaki but I thought Mazinger Z is more like Gundam. Oh boy was I surprised to see some extreme stuff going on. Definitely mature

The drawing style is Tabata's style mixed with classic manga styles of Go Nagai. It's like having the best of both worlds.

Author/mangaka : Gamon Sakurai
Status : Ongoing
Genre : Action, drama, mystery, supernatural

In this manga, exist a form of humans known as Ajins or Demi Humans who won't die no matter how they are killed. The story revolves one of the Ajins known as Kei Nagai who found out he was Ajin when he came back to life after he got killed in a traffic accident.

The best thing about this manga is the main villain which is Mr. Sato. He's a psychopath who only thrived in the heat of battle and possess numerous ingenious battle tactics due to his military background. I found myself in adoring him more than the main character - Kei Nagai.

However, that doesn't mean that other characters are lame. Nope. I can say that most of the characters in this manga is unique and interesting in their own ways.

Because the Ajins cannot die, this manga is gory to the max. How do you kill the unkillable? What methods would you use? Extreme methods of course. We're talking about limbs separations and meat grinding stuff. No sexy stuff though.

Authors/mangakas : Kaneshiro Muneyuki, Nishida Kensuke
Status : Ongoing
Genre : Action, drama, Mature, Supernatural

Shintarou Jagasaki was a neighborhood cop who dreamed of becoming more than ordinary. His wish sort of came true when we was blessed with powers to shoot energy bullets out of his hands. However, was the power truly a blessing or a curse?

I can say that this manga is a bit disturbing and perverted. I mean, if you are suddenly given superpowers, what would you do with it? I'm sure some would say get the girl of your dreams. Welp, one of the characters have the power to get girls to have sex with him. That being said, this manga contains a lot of nudity.

The action part is good. Jagasaki battled monsters that were powerful and it forced him to evolve and expand his powers. Though, there were risks of him becoming a monster himself.

Author(s) : Rikudou Shuusai
Status : Ongoing
Genre : Sports, mature, action

A yakuza taught young Riku the basics of boxing and using his talent and skills, Riku killed a violent drug dealer in order to defend for his life. Riku has only one goal in life which is to be at the yakuza's level in terms of boxing career.

I really love Hajime no Ippo which about boxing and it drove me to find more boxing mangas. Rikudou is definitely about boxing but it is darker and more disturbing than Hajime no Ippo.




Author(s) : Yagi Norihiro
Status : Completed
Genre : Action, martial arts, mature, supernatural

Yoma, a type of monster, has been wrecking havoc. Therefore, an organization was formed in order to exterminate these Yomas. The Organization fused girls with Yoma body parts to grant them powers to counter the Yomas.

At first I was turned off by the artwork. However, upon boredom, I decided to continue reading it which I'm glad I did. The artwork improved tremendously. However, I thing many would be turn off by the ridiculous story line. I have to admit that this manga is not for everyone.

The action parts are gory and yet beautifully drawn. There are also nudity which can't be helped since most of the warriors are girls.




Author(s) : Fujimoto Tatsuki
Status : Ongoing
Genre : Action, mature, mystery, supernatural

An evil witch knows as The Ice Witch has turned the earth into an icy planet and the humans are suffering. Some humans were blessed with powers. Agni and his sister were granted the powers of regeneration and in order to prevent his people from starving to death, Agni cut pieces of his body to feed everyone. He was then attacked by a person whose fire couldn't be put out and because of his powerful regeneration ability, he was able to endure the fire and seek out revenge.

I read this manga because it was recommended to me after I started reading Chainsawman which is a good manga. Fire Punch is indeed a disturbing, yet intriguing manga. The more chapters I read, the more I thought, "What the fuck am I reading?". Well, it started out cool but as the story progressed, the characters became more and more intriguingly crazy in their own way. The ending gave me the Neon Genesis Evangelion kind of vibe.




Author(s) : Oku Hiroya
Status : Completed
Genre : Aliens, Action, Mature

Kurono Kei and a few other people died and was revived back into a room with a big black sphere. The sphere gave them battle suits and weapons to kill certain alien targets.

Of course, the list won't be complete without Gantz. In fact, this manga is the first mature manga that I have ever read and it inspired me find out more about mangas just like it.

This manga is gory, brutal and contains a lot of nudity and sexual stuff. The characters are likable and especially the main character, Kurono Kei. He went from a wimp to a leader people can adore.

The art style is rather realistic as it sort of blend real pictures with manga art style. At least, that is how I would describe it. At first, I was turned off by the art but after I kept reading, I found it to be unique and interesting.





Author(s) : One, Murata Yuusuke
Status : Ongoing
Genre : Action, Comedy, Sci Fi, Mature, Mystery

As the title suggests, Saitama is a hero who can destroy any enemies with a single punch.

OnePunch-Man is easily the best manga to binge read over and over again because of the simplicity of the story line and also the awesome art style. I kid you not, I have reread this manga about five times now and each time I would notice some new details such as how many times King has appeared before he was properly introduced.

It is funny, the action is awesome and the characters (even the side ones) are lovable.




Author(s) : Miura Kentaro
Status : Ongoing
Genres : Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Horror, Mature, Supernatural

Guts, a lone mercenary met and became best friends with Griffith. Together, they soared onto new heights as a formidable army force however one dark turn of events plunged Griffith into the realms of darkness. Guts, being torn apart in the process of Griffith's ascension to a prince of chaos and darkness, seek revenge and closure.

Berserk is splendid in terms of gory action and artwork. Similar to other most famous mangas, the art was messy when it first started but it improved significantly through out the chapters. Now it has risen to be one of the best mature mangas alongside Gantz and Kingdom.










Welp, these are some my own suggestions. As I mentioned, if you have any other suggestions, feel free to comment. Right now I am trying to finish Kingdom. After that, I would definitely look for other mangas to read. Cheers

SYNOPSIS: 

After the events of Endgame or what the school kids have been referring to as 'The Blip', Peter Parker (Tom Holland) carried on being Spider-Man. However, he has been pressured by many to step up and be the leader of the Avengers, replacing Tony Stark which is quite hard for him since all he wanted was to have a normal teenage life (or at least a proper normal holiday in Europe). 

I can assure you that the most exciting thing for me about this movie is Jake Gyllenhaal. I simply adore him as a person and worship him for his acting. He rarely disappoints. In this movie, I love him more than Tom Holland. Sure, Tom is great like always but Jake is so terrifyingly charming. I mean, one moment he can be this caring bro like Captain America and the next thing you know, he turns out to be this emotionless psychopath. 

I mean, as a comic book reader, I've known from the start that Mysterio is a baddie but the way Jake Gyllenhaal portrayed the character made me hopeful that maybe the MCU Mysterio is not evil and the perfect mentor for Spider-Man. Yeah, for a second there, I was very hopeful. That's why when the evil plan was revealed, I was a bit crushed and yet in awed of how the story went. 

The look of Mysterio is also mindblowingly awesome. The fish bowl head works and the overalls are phenomenal. His "super powers" are well thought of. The integration of illusion techniques and technology makes him believable. His threat is also no joke. You can see how formidable he is with that horde of killer drones and hyper illusions. The character can stand tall as one of my favorite MCU villains. 

The second best thing about this movie is the puppy love between Peter Parker and MJ (Zendaya). I have to say that this version of MJ is the one that my younger self would have a crush on because I was pretty into weird, quirky girls when I was in high school and college. The interaction between the two characters is awkward and sweet which is how a puppy love should be. These two did bring a smile to my face. 

The awkwardness is not just in the relationship of Peter and MJ. In fact, most of the characters are cringey and awkward like the class teacher and Ned and his new girlfriend, Betty. Happy and Aunt May!!!! The characters are awkwardly hilarious and it makes this movie much more enjoyable.

I love the story so much because it makes sense and well thought of. I mean, seriously, you can see many events are related to each other. First of all, if you watch the second end credit scene, it does make sense why Nick Fury (Samuel L Jackson), the most paranoid and smartest person in the MCU would make a mistake of believing in Mysterio. Welp, it's because he's not Nick Fury. He's Talos, the shape shifting alien. Then I love that this movie is related to some of the previous MCU movies. Like, how Mysterio has the motivation to hate Tony Stark. Heck, I never thought that small scene of Tony showcasing BARF from Civil War would be used as a huge component in this movie. Big kudos to the writers.

Did I mention second end credit? Yes I did. There are two end credits and while the second one is intriguing as I mentioned earlier, the first end credit is hilariously amusing. The return of J.K Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson blew everyone's mind!! I love where this movie is going. I shows how the creators care what the audience truly wants in terms of casting. I can't help but feel sorry for Peter Parker though. All he wanted was just to be small time superhero - the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man but after this reveal, I can imagine how chaotic his life would be. Many villains would surely go after his family and loved ones. I just can't wait to see what the next movie would be like. I'm predicting multiple villains at the same time - THE SINISTER SIX! 

The second end credit also opens new doors to the MCU. If I look at the comic books, I would say that this is a preparation for the Secret Wars Arc. 

The action scenes are plenty and at a larger scale than the first movie. As I mentioned, Mysterio is a formidable opponent and Spider-Man has to go through a lot to beat him. My favorite scene is when Spidey took the bridge sign and held it like a shield and his other hand was holding something that seem like a hammer. For me, he looked like Captain America during his solo fight with Thanos in Endgame. Got me excited for a bit. Seriously, it made me think that Spider-Man is a combination of Tony Stark and Steve Rogers. Smart, humble and never give up.

Furthermore, the visual effects of this movie is astounding. My favorite? The part when Tony Stark came out of his grave. Holy Shit! Damn. I never expected Mysterio's illusions can be made to as awesome as that. 

All in all, I just want to say that this movie is probably the best Spider-Man movie ever because I love how formidable Mysterio is not just in terms of fire power but also intellect and cold heartedness. The movie is hilarious and the action and visual effects are awesome. 

5 out of 5 Stars.

Mitch Rapp (Dylan O'Brien) and his girlfriend was on holiday at a beach when a group of terrorists attacked. His girlfriend was killed and that triggered Mitch to train himself to be an assassin so that he could get revenge. 

If you read the synopsis above, you might think that this is a typical revenge story. Welp, it's not. The revenge part is just short. Then, the main character got sucked into a world of spies and CIA shit. I have to say, the revenge part, which is at the first 10 to 20 minutes of the film is very intriguing for me. The rest of the film?? Hmm... Not so much. To be honest, this movie is boring. 

The story is kinda ridiculous. A man who train himself to be an assassin is hired by the CIA to do some shit. Of course, when talking about CIA, then ought to be some secret program to train people into spies. The main character got thrown into that secret training program for, I don't know, maybe 2 days??? and then got permission to join a mission. Oh wow. 

The training scenes are hilarious. I did not mean it in a good way. It's unnecessary and it's just a poor excuse to introduce the main character to the Micheal Keaton's character - Stan Hurley, the secret program instructor. There's nothing cool about the training scenes. I thought it was going to be a tough program but nope. 

Furthermore, the pacing is slow. Characters spend too much time talking to each other about how people should not take this shit personal and only focus on the mission. For fuck's sake, there isn't even a love scene. You know, if a movie is bad, but there's a scene where the main characters make love for a few seconds, you would be thinking "Welp, at least the sex scene is good.". Nope, nope. This movie has no sex scene, no lovey dovey. There is a moment of tension between the main character and his female colleague and they were in a bathroom. But nope. He beat the shit out of her. Literally. 

In terms of acting, Dylan O'Brien did an okay job. I think the material he was given to work with is lacking something. The character lacks... conviction? Like he doesn't know whether he's a brat with a mouth or just an emo guy. 

The script also does not bring the best out of Micheal Keaton. Like, what a waste. Micheal kept talking and talking and talking, it bored the shit out of me. 

Apart from that, the action is meh. There are no over the top spy action shit. Just regular shooting and stabbing and brawling. The main character spends too much time fighting nobodies. For example, there's this scene where he breaks into an apartment and he takes so much time to kill one bodyguard. Like hell, kill him already!! The title of the movie suggests that this movie would be filled with cool assassinations. Hahahahahaha.... Nope. No assassinations in here. 

All in all, I would recommend you to skip this movie because it is boring. The story is uninteresting, the action is not intriguing, and the characters just won't stop talking. 

1 star out of 5. 

SYNOPSIS: 

Jacob (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), a plain, married suit and tie guy, was sent to prison for a crime he unintentionally did. In prison, he quickly learned that he needed to adapt or die. 

I have to admit, I was interested in seeing this movie because Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (damn it's hard to type his name) a.k.a the infamous Jamie Lannister a.k.a the kingslayer is in it. This guy is damn good in Game of Thrones and I was intrigued that he is willing to star in a prison gangster film. 

I have to say, Nikolaj is the best thing about this movie. His acting is on point. At first he is portraying this tough, scary prison gang member and then during flashbacks, he seems like total nerd. That's good acting. The whole appearance change from nerdy to frightening formidable guy is also impressive. I'm not talking only about the looks. His presence, his persona... Damn, this guy is good. 

Talking about acting, the supporting characters are also awesome. Jacob's wife, Kate, played by Lake Bell is also a good character birthed from good acting. Another outstanding actor is Jon Bernthal a.k.a The Punisher who played Jacob's fellow gang member, Shotgun. 

I can say that all actors and actresses in this movie did a really good job. 

The story and plot is also outstanding. The transitions between real time scenes and flashbacks go smoothly and do not seem out of place. The pacing is nice. It's not too fast and not too slow. I don't know how to describe it but it is nice. It glued me to my seat. I don't feel bored at all. 

Furthermore, this movie is beautifully shot. The camera angles and picture edit made me think, "Oh, this would make a beautiful photo." a few times. I am pretty impressed with the director. 

Apart from that, the fight scenes are bloody and kinda realistic. It is not over elaborated. All of them are prison style. Shanks, clumsy brawls and etc.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoy this movie and hoping that there would be a part two because the main character can be seen as necessary evil or something like that. The actors are awesome and the story is well written. 

5 stars from me.